Manners, Deals, and Skylanders?

Did you know I have an aunt that teaches etiquette lessons to children and adults?  She thankfully lives way out in Seattle and has not had the opportunity to eat with us.  I say thankfully- not because I wouldn’t want her to eat with us because we would enjoy her company, but because I don’t want her to see how horrific the manners of my children are!  Oh the horrors that meal would be.  If she comes to visit anytime in the next 10 years, I’ll just put a bag over her head so she can’t see how we eat. 

I mean- it’s not like we’re barbarians.  More like cavemen.  Andrew, despite our CONSTANT reminders, constantly slouches so far down in his chair that he rests his knees on the table while he eats.  There have been minor punishments, but nothing consistent nor effective . . . yet. 

So last night we were sitting there eating, what I thought was a good dinner: pork chops, lima beans, and mashed sweet potatoes.  Alexa, Doug, and I sure thought it was delicious.  Andrew. . . not so much.  Everything was going swimmingly until, Alexa stood up in her chair (manner error #1), and leaned over my plate (manner error #2) and started making puking sounds (manner error 3- 3,000).  I have no idea why she was doing that, like I said, she liked the dinner (judging by the way she was shoving huge spoonfuls of potatoes into her mouth (manner error # 3,001) and then eventually using her hands because she could get more into her mouth that way (manner error 3,002- 4,000).  Well, Andrew and I thought it was funny that she was doing and so we laughed, which encouraged her bad behavior (manner error #4,001).  (Doug had gotten up to get something.  I don’t know why he thinks he can leave Andrew and I at the table alone and not come back to some sort of misbehavior- maybe because I am also the parent?) 

For some reason, at this moment Alexa decided she absolutely had to have a hah bow in her hair.   So Doug took her to get this very necessary accessory.   And Andrew took the opportunity to tell me he wants Skylanders.  I don’t know what the heck they are, I hope they’re not expensive, dangerous, or inappropriate for 6 year olds because I struck a deal with him that involved Skylanders.  Since he had spent a good portion of the dinner complaining about how gross it was and slouching in his chair and other un-mannerful things, I said I would buy him one if: he could sit up in his seat, use his manners, and eat without complaining for an entire week.  I think that seems like a good deal and easy to achieve.  Andrew apparently didn’t think so, because he said, “No way!”  So much for that attempt at getting good manners.  Maybe next I’ll wager a dog . . . what can I say, I’m fairly desperate.