I Speak The Language

I am sure you know, but in case you’ve forgotten, I am a Special Needs teacher.  For 11 years I taught special needs students in the “regular” classroom, and for the last 3 years I have taught in a self contained classroom.  My students have varieties of disabilities, but the most prevalent disability is Autism. 

I am proud to say- I now speak the language of an autistic child.  It’s a recent acquisition, but it’s so handy!

Before I write anymore, I want to preface this by saying I am NOT mocking or making fun of my students in anyway (I’m actually admitting some pretty uncool personality flaws of my own).  Do I tease them?  Heck yeah!  One of our favorite things to tease about is, slamming our hands down on a desk to make anyone or everyone in the room jump. We have a noise maker that makes burping and farting sounds- we LOVE it.  We love to hide fake spiders in notebooks, desks, and chairs. We like to call each other knicknames like: knuckle-head, hammer, and old lady, or grandpa.  And when I say, “we” I mean- they call me the names too. Tease me about birds (I am afraid of birds and have run out of the gym when I saw one flew in there and got stuck.  Yep- I left my kids in there alone with it- but they didn’t care.  I sure did).

 You have to have thick skin to teach, but especially Special Needs kids.  Good Lord they say whatever comes to mind.  Today one of them was standing near me and said, “ahhh Ms. Latta, I think you forgot your deodorant this morning.  You reek.”  Funny enough- I actually did remember to put deodorant on this morning (which Doug will tell you is something rare- I often forget it). 

I have this one student that is . . . stubborn to say the least.  OMG is she stubborn.  Alexa and I have nothing on her.  She’s like a brick wall, until recently.  What changed? I learned the language.  It’s stupid of me really.  Why has it taken me so stinking long to figure out, that I can’t make her communicate in my language, I have to figure out how to communicate in her language. 

Here’s what I mean.  This morning we were doing our daily sentence writing activity.  This particular student is capable of writing really creative and interesting sentences, when the mood strikes.  If she’s not in the mood well . . . normally what happens is me threatening that if she does not write her sentences, she will lose a privilege.  I am not proud of myself for threatening this.  When I want her to do an assignment and she does not, I become my most irrational self.   Here’s a sample of our morning:

Student: I can’t spell “different.”
Me: Yes you can.  Sound it out.  Ddddiiiffferent.  What does it start with?
Student: D?
Me: yes!  What comes next?
student: I don’t know.
Me: (mmm, I’ll give her the vowel- they can be tricky- but I am NOT giving her the “f” she will figure this out.).  How about “I.” What comes next?
student: I don’t know.
Me: (digging my heels in).  yes, you do.  Think carefully.  What sound am I saying, “fffff”
student: Iiii dooon’t know (whinnying)
Me: (becoming an irrational psycho, my blood pressure is rising, and I am starting to feel intensely annoyed because I have hit a wall).  You do too!  Listen to what I am saying.
student: I don’t know. 
Me: (grrrrrrr)  If you don’t at least guess a letter, then I am going to make you move by George Washington (all names have been changed to protect the innocent, and do you see what I mean by becoming an irrational psycho?) . . .
student:  NOOOOOOOO  I hate George Washington!!!!!
Me: then guess a letter.  What letter makes this sound:  fffff
Student: I don’t know . . . .
Me: (Holy cow- chill out.  Take a breath, wait!  Remember last week when you realized you could speak the language?!  Try it out.  See if it works this time too.)  (be calm, loose, relax,  lose the high pitched screech of irritation, and go for the monotone tone).  Madonna, I notice you haven’t put a letter down after the “I.”  Can you put a letter a down because you don’t have a letter down and you need a letter down.”
student: I don’t know!
Me: hey, I see you still don’t have a letter down, can you guess what letter might come next, because you don’t have a letter down.
Student: I can’t think of the letter, is it “c?”
me: (Holy **it, it worked again!!!!  I am a stinking genius!)  (trying to keep my voice monotone and not gloating, I say . . .) No it’s not a “c.”  it sounds like, ffff.  I notice you still don’t have a letter down, can you guess what letter makes the pfff sound? 
student: “F?”
Me:  YES!!!!!  Good job (and then I spelled the rest of the word out for her)

I tried out my new language skills on Doug last week, and he went bananas.  It went like this: “Doug, I see there’s still a plate on the table. Can you move that plate, because the plate is still . . . “  SHUT UP!!!!!!!  But, it does not seem to phase her at all- in fact , she calmly completes whatever it is I have asked her to do.  

And folks, that’s my lesson for today.  If you learn to speak the language . . . the world is yours to conquer.  Or at least your classroom.