Parent Pluses and Minuses
I think I am pretty good parent. I don't say this in a bragging way, as though I am the BEST parent- because I assure you my impatience immediately disqualifies me from that distinguished title. I just mean- I feel like I do a pretty good job with my kids. Now that I have two, I have something to compare MY techniques with. I try not to compare them, but sometimes I do (Alexa is fussier- but a way better sleeper. Andrew's not that fussy, but he's a picky eater).
I think there are some things I have done better with Andrew and some things I have done better with Alexa. Until recently- the things I did good with Andrew was a MUCH longer list. I am not sure why- but I have felt much more inadequate with her. Maybe it's because she tends to have a fussier personality and I feel as though I am not meeting her needs enough? I don't know. Whatever it might be, I have realized that all is not lost with her and I have actually done a few things better with her.
Things I Have Done Better With Andrew
* I was much more disciplined about undivided attention when we got home from school (in my defense- that is an impractical expectation with 2 kids. Obviously Alexa isn't going to get nearly as much undivided attention as Andrew did- and in some ways that was a negative for Andrew because to this day he has a hard time entertaining himself)
* I really tried to provide a lot of different experiences and exposures to different things.
* Routine. He had one that I did NOT diverge from (despite my rigidity on that- he's really good with rolling with the flow)
* Taking pictures. He got lots and lots and lots and lots. His life was documented and filed and organized. Alexa's . . . only moderately.
* Getting him to the grandparents. Alexa hasn't been around either set of grandparents anywhere NEAR as much as Andrew had been. For that reason I wish we lived closer to them.
* Eating only healthy foods at this point of his life (I won't lie- Alexa has eaten McDonalds. More than once. It is something I am ashamed of, but on days when there is t-ball practice after we've been at school late for faculty meetings . . . that's all there is time for.)
* I was so much more creative with how I played with Andrew. Somehow I have forgotten all of the little things I did with him.
Things I have Done Better With Alexa (yes, there are a few)
* I am even more laid back with her- than I was with Andrew- and I was pretty laid back with him, considering I was a first time mother.
* I am exposing her to WAY more foods than I EVER even thought about doing with Andrew (and not all of them are McDonalds. Tonight we ate dinner at Salsaritas and she ate cheese quesodilla, black beans, and some of my guacamole. Andrew still won't eat those things.)
* Along those food lines- she drinks water. To this day, Andrew still doesn't drink plain water. He drinks "juice" (it's so watered down, it hardly counts as juice, but he knows the difference and I- up until 6 months ago- brought him a drink anytime we went to a restaurant, otherwise he wouldn't have anything to drink- because he doesn't like tea, soda, or plain water. Alexa drinks water- and tonight she showed me that she knows how to drink from a straw- since I forgot a sippy cup)
* I coddle her more (this is actually a plus and negative- but this time I realize that her stages won't last forever (although some of them feel like they might) and it's ok to hold her more (plus, I realize how fast they go too)
* I actually put her down to sleep- without being all the way asleep.
* I don't run into her room at the sound of every little whimper. She can self soothe herself- and often she's the only one who can calm herself down.
* I expect her to entertain herself- because I have to do laundry, help with homework, or whatever else comes up.
So there it is- I am not a complete failure, although on Tuesday morning that was the first thing I thought about was all the ways I was failing my children. Please don't start your morning with that frame of mind. It doesn't put you in a good mood- take it from me.
I think there are some things I have done better with Andrew and some things I have done better with Alexa. Until recently- the things I did good with Andrew was a MUCH longer list. I am not sure why- but I have felt much more inadequate with her. Maybe it's because she tends to have a fussier personality and I feel as though I am not meeting her needs enough? I don't know. Whatever it might be, I have realized that all is not lost with her and I have actually done a few things better with her.
Things I Have Done Better With Andrew
* I was much more disciplined about undivided attention when we got home from school (in my defense- that is an impractical expectation with 2 kids. Obviously Alexa isn't going to get nearly as much undivided attention as Andrew did- and in some ways that was a negative for Andrew because to this day he has a hard time entertaining himself)
* I really tried to provide a lot of different experiences and exposures to different things.
* Routine. He had one that I did NOT diverge from (despite my rigidity on that- he's really good with rolling with the flow)
* Taking pictures. He got lots and lots and lots and lots. His life was documented and filed and organized. Alexa's . . . only moderately.
* Getting him to the grandparents. Alexa hasn't been around either set of grandparents anywhere NEAR as much as Andrew had been. For that reason I wish we lived closer to them.
* Eating only healthy foods at this point of his life (I won't lie- Alexa has eaten McDonalds. More than once. It is something I am ashamed of, but on days when there is t-ball practice after we've been at school late for faculty meetings . . . that's all there is time for.)
* I was so much more creative with how I played with Andrew. Somehow I have forgotten all of the little things I did with him.
Things I have Done Better With Alexa (yes, there are a few)
* I am even more laid back with her- than I was with Andrew- and I was pretty laid back with him, considering I was a first time mother.
* I am exposing her to WAY more foods than I EVER even thought about doing with Andrew (and not all of them are McDonalds. Tonight we ate dinner at Salsaritas and she ate cheese quesodilla, black beans, and some of my guacamole. Andrew still won't eat those things.)
* Along those food lines- she drinks water. To this day, Andrew still doesn't drink plain water. He drinks "juice" (it's so watered down, it hardly counts as juice, but he knows the difference and I- up until 6 months ago- brought him a drink anytime we went to a restaurant, otherwise he wouldn't have anything to drink- because he doesn't like tea, soda, or plain water. Alexa drinks water- and tonight she showed me that she knows how to drink from a straw- since I forgot a sippy cup)
* I coddle her more (this is actually a plus and negative- but this time I realize that her stages won't last forever (although some of them feel like they might) and it's ok to hold her more (plus, I realize how fast they go too)
* I actually put her down to sleep- without being all the way asleep.
* I don't run into her room at the sound of every little whimper. She can self soothe herself- and often she's the only one who can calm herself down.
* I expect her to entertain herself- because I have to do laundry, help with homework, or whatever else comes up.
So there it is- I am not a complete failure, although on Tuesday morning that was the first thing I thought about was all the ways I was failing my children. Please don't start your morning with that frame of mind. It doesn't put you in a good mood- take it from me.
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| Doesn't he look tired? |
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| Can you see her top teeth?! Silly girl- 4 at one time. |
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