Funny Phrases

Doug and I have been together 21 years.  We'll have been married 18 years in April.  Isn't that amazing in this day and age- but the fact that I'm like 29 makes it even weirder.   After all this time- he still makes me laugh a LOT.  He's hilarious. 

One particular thing that is especially hilarious are these phrases he says.  I think he and his co-teacher just sit around coming up with wacky sayings and entertain everyone with them.  Here are some of my favorites:

1. Y'all- I can barely write this without laughing out loud.  He told me this the other day.  Earlier in the week, I was eating eggs with spinach and onions for breakfast and the spinach was having an impact on my digestive system.  At one point he looked at me and said, "KATE!  What's your deal?  You got a leak in your fanny gasket?!"  

2. He was recently telling me a story about a student that was kicked in the privates, by a small child he was helping babysit.  The story went like this, "The kid walked up to him, and gave him a pound of Aunt Betty's Nut Butter!  He dropped to the ground like a rock!"  I honestly don't know what's funnier- the kid getting kicked or the phrase.

3.  He told Andrew one day- after he'd been talking excessively, "Boy! You got enough mouth for 2 sets of teeth!"

4.  He also likes to tell both of our kids, "Just sit there with your teeth in your mouth and be quiet!"  (he doesn't tell me that.  That wouldn't go over well.)

5.  If he's super hungry and about to starve, he'll say, "I'm about to eat the rear end out of a rag doll!" 

6. Before he and Andrew leave to go to practice or wherever, he says, "We're like horse turds- we're hitting the trail!"

7.  One time, he was about to hit the gas pedal and cut out in front of another driver, but gave us a heads up and said, "Hold on to your socks kids!"  

8. A long time ago, when something was particularly amazing, he would say, "Holy Buckets!"  

There are so many more, but this is all I could remember.  I'll try to keep up better with what he says, but that would require actually listening and remembering.  And- well we've been together 21 years . . . I don't need to impress him anymore.  :-)  :-)  :-)  :-)