She Paved Her Own Path
Sweet Alexa. Sweet, sweet Alexa. She about broke my heart on Monday. Like in a million pieces.
She is going to Girl Scout Camp this week. She and a friend from her troop. This is a really big deal- and she doesn't even realize it. This is the first thing she has done completely without Doug, me, or Andrew. When she went to daycare . . . Andrew paved the way for her. Her teachers and directors KNEW us. When she went to dance, I sat in the lobby on the other side of the door. She had a friend in her class. The owner of the studio had volunteered at my school, and her children went through my school, a friend taught lessons there, other friends had children dance at that studio. I KNEW it. When she played t-ball- she played because that's what Andrew did. Doug coached her team. I was the dugout mom. When she went to kindergarten, Andrew was at school with her, and he had again paved the way for her. She had been going into that school for years. She was already familiar with some of the Specials teachers. The teacher assistant in her room- was friends with one of my friends. She KNEW it.
I decided at the beginning of her first grade school year, to try her in Girl Scouts. I felt like she needed socialization with girls, in a non-competitive place. She's not competitive. At all. Luckily a friend I work with was a leader of a troop and invited us to join them. What luck! It's the sweetest group of girls- but again . . . I knew the leader. I know Girl Scouts. I was one.
I wanted her to have some camp experiences this summer. Her troop leader mentioned her daughter was doing the Girl Scout Camp, so I signed Alexa up the same week. On Monday, we drove 30 minutes into Charlotte. I got in the drop off line. There was music playing, counselors opening car doors, adults at my window going over the pick up procedure, asking if I needed to drop off medications, who could pick her up, and the next thing I knew, she was sitting on a table with lots of other little girls, and I was being directed on down the driveway. I looked back, happened to catch her eye, and almost cried. She looked so small, lost, and unsure. What had I done?! I just left my sweet baby in an unfamiliar place. She needed me!! Luckily I had Andrew- who made fun of me, told me I was a loser, and she'd be fine. All day I thought of her. What was she doing now? Was she having fun? Was she okay? Was she lonely?
No.
She got in the car, in a whirl. She talked all the way home about everything. How awesome everything was, how much fun she had, the counselors she liked, the girls in her group, and the crafts they did. Suddenly she says, "Mom- I didn't even think about you at all. I can't wait to spend the night on Thursday!!!!"
Oh.
She wasn't supposed to think about me and be sad- that would have really hurt my heart, but . . . she didn't think about me at all, and NOW she wants to spend the night away from me for the first time (sleeping at her grandparents while Andrew is there doesn't count)???? Oh. Okay. That's what's right. She is supposed to do things like this, but . . . . I will miss her so much- but look at her pave her own path.
She is going to Girl Scout Camp this week. She and a friend from her troop. This is a really big deal- and she doesn't even realize it. This is the first thing she has done completely without Doug, me, or Andrew. When she went to daycare . . . Andrew paved the way for her. Her teachers and directors KNEW us. When she went to dance, I sat in the lobby on the other side of the door. She had a friend in her class. The owner of the studio had volunteered at my school, and her children went through my school, a friend taught lessons there, other friends had children dance at that studio. I KNEW it. When she played t-ball- she played because that's what Andrew did. Doug coached her team. I was the dugout mom. When she went to kindergarten, Andrew was at school with her, and he had again paved the way for her. She had been going into that school for years. She was already familiar with some of the Specials teachers. The teacher assistant in her room- was friends with one of my friends. She KNEW it.
I decided at the beginning of her first grade school year, to try her in Girl Scouts. I felt like she needed socialization with girls, in a non-competitive place. She's not competitive. At all. Luckily a friend I work with was a leader of a troop and invited us to join them. What luck! It's the sweetest group of girls- but again . . . I knew the leader. I know Girl Scouts. I was one.
I wanted her to have some camp experiences this summer. Her troop leader mentioned her daughter was doing the Girl Scout Camp, so I signed Alexa up the same week. On Monday, we drove 30 minutes into Charlotte. I got in the drop off line. There was music playing, counselors opening car doors, adults at my window going over the pick up procedure, asking if I needed to drop off medications, who could pick her up, and the next thing I knew, she was sitting on a table with lots of other little girls, and I was being directed on down the driveway. I looked back, happened to catch her eye, and almost cried. She looked so small, lost, and unsure. What had I done?! I just left my sweet baby in an unfamiliar place. She needed me!! Luckily I had Andrew- who made fun of me, told me I was a loser, and she'd be fine. All day I thought of her. What was she doing now? Was she having fun? Was she okay? Was she lonely?
No.
She got in the car, in a whirl. She talked all the way home about everything. How awesome everything was, how much fun she had, the counselors she liked, the girls in her group, and the crafts they did. Suddenly she says, "Mom- I didn't even think about you at all. I can't wait to spend the night on Thursday!!!!"
Oh.
She wasn't supposed to think about me and be sad- that would have really hurt my heart, but . . . she didn't think about me at all, and NOW she wants to spend the night away from me for the first time (sleeping at her grandparents while Andrew is there doesn't count)???? Oh. Okay. That's what's right. She is supposed to do things like this, but . . . . I will miss her so much- but look at her pave her own path.
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