Push Present


I told Doug the other evening.  "I'm going to write the next blog about you."  He said, "I think you're not!" and I said, "Yeah, it's about push presents."  He laughed a bit sheepishly. 

The other morning I was on the way to work and listening to morning talk on a radio station.  The dj's were discussing the big trend, "Push Presents."  I don't really buy into that whole push present thing.  I'm not doing anything women for thousands of years haven't done and the fact I got to do with it with an epidural, in a clean hospital . . . well hell.  Those are the real push presents!  They were discussing what was an acceptable push present: diamonds, massage gift cards, flat screen tv . . . whoa, wait up.  

I sort of laughed because, while I didn't get a push present, but Doug sure did.  Yes, friends you read that right.  Not only did he get a push present for Andrew, but he got one for Alexa too.  The items certainly weren't intended to be push presents, but their timing was a bit too close to be considered anything else. 

About 3 weeks after Andrew was born, Doug finally found a truck he was wanted to buy.  I mean, we had only looked for 3 years.  (Doug doesn't make fast decisions regarding the purchase of vehicles . . . unless his children have just been born and then . . . . look out.)  When we brought it home, one of the neighbors said, "Good deal!  She got a baby and you got a truck!" 

The week of Alexa's birth, Doug got a tractor and a flat screen tv!  A few days before Alexa was born, Doug came tearing in the house, he had finally found a tractor!!!  Well, while he was on the way up to buy that tractor, I was sitting on the couch watching tv, when suddenly the tv blew up.  Seriously.  I called Doug who was about an hour away, way out in the middle of nowhere and I said, "Doug!  The tv just blew up and it scared me so bad, my water broke!  You need to come home now!"  (I felt his indecision through the phone: do I go home to my wife, or go get the tractor I really want?)  "Hahahaha! Just kidding!!!"  (I really got him though.)  So, the next day . . . off we went for a new flat screen.  I mean, if we were going to buy one, it might as well have been a flat screen, you know? 

I think I'll cash in on my "push present" when my children move out.  It's a push present of sorts, I pushed them into the adult world.  Then I'll really be able to enjoy whatever it is I determine I want because I won't have to worry about all that pesky exhaustion & hormones to ruin my enjoyment of it!  Taking into account inflation and Doug's 3 gifts to my none, I should get a pretty doggone good present.

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