My Interpretation
Way back when I was first married, I would ask Doug a question and he would either: not respond or just do the old, "Mmm." I won't lie, it made me psychotic! I mean, seriously! Why can't he just say whether he wanted to do that, or not. Be clear with me. I don't do subtle (in case you couldn't tell).
Well, as we advanced on into the years, I grew more wise and started verbalizing possible interpretations to his shrugs, silences, or grunts. And based on his reaction to my interpretations, I would guess the meaning.
For example, last night I asked if he would be interested in getting a couple's massage when we go to Mexico this summer. If you know Doug, you know this is so NOT the kind of thing he would EVER want, but the thing is, I want him to know how awesome massage is! I LOVE getting them! It's not weird dirty old ladies or men (except for that one time . . . just kidding) trying to cop a feel. It's truly relaxing and heavenly. I am hoping that maybe if he goes with me, and realizes it's not scary, he'll be more open to the idea of them.
So here's how the conversation went:
Me: How would you feel about a couple's massage when we're in Mexico?
Doug: hmm
pause . . . . while I wait for an explanation . . .
Me: Does that mean:
1. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear her say that? (he chuckled, so I must be close)
2. If I ignore her, maybe she'll forget this? (he chuckled again)
3. Not a bad idea, I need to think about it? (he grunted again)
4. She's lost her freaking mind! I ain't doing that shit!" (he outright laughed. That must have been the actual answer)
You know how we women say things like, "Oh I couldn't date and try to train up another man if I ever find myself single again! This is it for me!!" The thing is, I don't know that I've trained Doug at all. I am pretty sure I've been trained. I've been trained to be more patient with his grunts, shrugs, and silence at all of my great suggestions. Instead of demanding immediate responses, I've discovered somewhere along the way, that with Doug patience is golden. He doesn't make any decisions quickly and when I pressure him to make them quickly it backfires on me completely. So I'll entertain myself with interpretations of his silence, while I wait for his response.
Well, as we advanced on into the years, I grew more wise and started verbalizing possible interpretations to his shrugs, silences, or grunts. And based on his reaction to my interpretations, I would guess the meaning.
For example, last night I asked if he would be interested in getting a couple's massage when we go to Mexico this summer. If you know Doug, you know this is so NOT the kind of thing he would EVER want, but the thing is, I want him to know how awesome massage is! I LOVE getting them! It's not weird dirty old ladies or men (except for that one time . . . just kidding) trying to cop a feel. It's truly relaxing and heavenly. I am hoping that maybe if he goes with me, and realizes it's not scary, he'll be more open to the idea of them.
So here's how the conversation went:
Me: How would you feel about a couple's massage when we're in Mexico?
Doug: hmm
pause . . . . while I wait for an explanation . . .
Me: Does that mean:
1. I'm going to pretend I didn't hear her say that? (he chuckled, so I must be close)
2. If I ignore her, maybe she'll forget this? (he chuckled again)
3. Not a bad idea, I need to think about it? (he grunted again)
4. She's lost her freaking mind! I ain't doing that shit!" (he outright laughed. That must have been the actual answer)
You know how we women say things like, "Oh I couldn't date and try to train up another man if I ever find myself single again! This is it for me!!" The thing is, I don't know that I've trained Doug at all. I am pretty sure I've been trained. I've been trained to be more patient with his grunts, shrugs, and silence at all of my great suggestions. Instead of demanding immediate responses, I've discovered somewhere along the way, that with Doug patience is golden. He doesn't make any decisions quickly and when I pressure him to make them quickly it backfires on me completely. So I'll entertain myself with interpretations of his silence, while I wait for his response.
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