Grinding Teeth and Dominant Children
I went to the dentist today for my 6 month cleaning. I told them I had 2 sensitive teeth- one on each side of my mouth (does it affect my ability to eat? Only the first bite. Once I get that one out of the way- all the other bites are tolerable). I have been preparing myself for cavitites, but the good dentist says, "Nope- cavity free, you have stress fractures on those 2 teeth and your others are showing significant evidence of you grinding your teeth, that's probably why they're sensitive." Well I knew I was stressed (if you saw the amount of chocolate I had been consuming- you would either think I was a glutton or a food hoarder- or maybe just both) but that stressed? I know I lose things (this week I have lost my Flip camera and I am completely depressed. It took the most wonderful videos) and I know I do stupid things (yesterday I mowed the entire backyard- without the grass catcher bag and I didn't even notice until I went to remove it and empty it. Duh). I just figured I did those things because that's me. I tend to be a little flighty, some might even say flaky. Those that say that are wrong. Just flighty and a bit forgetful. But maybe I am all those things because I am actually stressed. Why would I be stressed?
Here's why:
It's not necesarily her- although . . .
When Doug and I were in discussions to add to our happy, small family, I was the hold up. Two kids?! Jeez, what if one of them was . . . like me?! Well, as you can see, Doug won and we added to the family. When the ultrasound tech said, "Congratulations! You have a girl!" I was horrorstricken. Seriously. Doug and I had arrived at that appointment in separate vehicles and my ride home was in a fog. I struggled to accept that I would have a girl. I knew with every fiber in my core- she was going to be a dominant force. How would I keep her reined in? How would I deal with- what was sure to be a strong temper? I really pushed for our girl to be named Alexa. My argument- she needed a strong name for a strong personality. Now my question is this: have I unconsciously created her the way she is? Ahhh the age old nature vs. nurture question.
Here are some tales of her, they are not embellished. I do not need to embellish Alexa stories. The reality of them is entertaining enough.
She currently does not have words. I haven't looked to see if this is evidence of a delay, I have considered it, but have decided that while she may not use words, she communicates her opinions JUST FINE. Trust me. This past week, Alexa has gotten frustrated with Andrew on a couple of different occasions. One time he was sitting on my legs looking at a toy. Apparently Alexa wanted that toy because she crawled over, stood up, and whapped him on the head and squawked a frustrated shout of irritation. Andrew and I were both sort of stunned. I think for 2 different reasons. Then today- Alexa and I were looking at a book and Andrew came over to look with us, however Alexa put an end to that when she stood up, grunted/growled, and smacked his face. This time we were less stunned. Andrew was MAD and I was unsure how to proceed. She was wrong- no doubt. But how do I teach the lesson, she's 11 months old? I don't think I am supposed to discipline her. Upon retrospect I handled the situation completely wrong. I told her "no-no" and I said, "Andrew she didn't understand, you'll be ok." He proceeded to be emotional, needy, and resentful for the next 2 hours. Perhaps if I had done that differently, he wouldn't have gotten his feelings hurt, and Alexa wouldn't have "won." I have a new plan. Should it happen again- I will sit her down off of me or away from us and be extra sensitive to Andrew. If that doesn't work, I have another plan.
I have become the kind of parent I didn't think I would ever be. The kind that placates just so I can get a task accomplished. Mornings and dinner are a chaotic time of day, it also tends to be Alexa's neediest time of day, but I have found a solution to all of our problems. The fridge. She is fascinated with the refrigerator. So what do I do? I prop the door open (if it shuts while she's perusing it- it completely and totally infuriates her), take the eggs, and any delicate fruits out- and let her have at it. How wasteful is it?!! I am appalled at myself. (the woman who drives 40 miles to recycle batteries- puts her kid in non cloth diapers and leaves the fridge open) But this morning I not only fixed my breakfast, and Andrew's, but ate my breakfast and packed Andrew's swim lesson bag- without a screaming 10 month old. It was heavenly, glorious, delightful. So I will do it again tomorrow.
Here's why:
It's not necesarily her- although . . .
When Doug and I were in discussions to add to our happy, small family, I was the hold up. Two kids?! Jeez, what if one of them was . . . like me?! Well, as you can see, Doug won and we added to the family. When the ultrasound tech said, "Congratulations! You have a girl!" I was horrorstricken. Seriously. Doug and I had arrived at that appointment in separate vehicles and my ride home was in a fog. I struggled to accept that I would have a girl. I knew with every fiber in my core- she was going to be a dominant force. How would I keep her reined in? How would I deal with- what was sure to be a strong temper? I really pushed for our girl to be named Alexa. My argument- she needed a strong name for a strong personality. Now my question is this: have I unconsciously created her the way she is? Ahhh the age old nature vs. nurture question.
Here are some tales of her, they are not embellished. I do not need to embellish Alexa stories. The reality of them is entertaining enough.
She currently does not have words. I haven't looked to see if this is evidence of a delay, I have considered it, but have decided that while she may not use words, she communicates her opinions JUST FINE. Trust me. This past week, Alexa has gotten frustrated with Andrew on a couple of different occasions. One time he was sitting on my legs looking at a toy. Apparently Alexa wanted that toy because she crawled over, stood up, and whapped him on the head and squawked a frustrated shout of irritation. Andrew and I were both sort of stunned. I think for 2 different reasons. Then today- Alexa and I were looking at a book and Andrew came over to look with us, however Alexa put an end to that when she stood up, grunted/growled, and smacked his face. This time we were less stunned. Andrew was MAD and I was unsure how to proceed. She was wrong- no doubt. But how do I teach the lesson, she's 11 months old? I don't think I am supposed to discipline her. Upon retrospect I handled the situation completely wrong. I told her "no-no" and I said, "Andrew she didn't understand, you'll be ok." He proceeded to be emotional, needy, and resentful for the next 2 hours. Perhaps if I had done that differently, he wouldn't have gotten his feelings hurt, and Alexa wouldn't have "won." I have a new plan. Should it happen again- I will sit her down off of me or away from us and be extra sensitive to Andrew. If that doesn't work, I have another plan.
I have become the kind of parent I didn't think I would ever be. The kind that placates just so I can get a task accomplished. Mornings and dinner are a chaotic time of day, it also tends to be Alexa's neediest time of day, but I have found a solution to all of our problems. The fridge. She is fascinated with the refrigerator. So what do I do? I prop the door open (if it shuts while she's perusing it- it completely and totally infuriates her), take the eggs, and any delicate fruits out- and let her have at it. How wasteful is it?!! I am appalled at myself. (the woman who drives 40 miles to recycle batteries- puts her kid in non cloth diapers and leaves the fridge open) But this morning I not only fixed my breakfast, and Andrew's, but ate my breakfast and packed Andrew's swim lesson bag- without a screaming 10 month old. It was heavenly, glorious, delightful. So I will do it again tomorrow.
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