That Weird Noise is Probably Not Doug Playing Mind Games With Me

Saturday night I was watching tv in bed, and suddenly I became aware of this weird noise.  It was like, "tap.  taptaptaptap.  tap tap.  tap.      tap.  taptaptaptaptaptap.  tap tap.  tap."  I kept hearing it.  I told Doug. 
Doug rolled his eyes.  "Yeah.  I heard it the other night, but I didn't tell you because I knew you'd be a freak about it." 
Frankly- I was unsure what annoyed me most about that comment: the fact he assumed I'd be a freak (there have been some moments in the past that I may have blown unexplained events out of proportion, but this is totally different!!!), or is it the fact that he's KNOWN ABOUT THE UNEXPLAINED NOISE AND DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!!!!! 
As we watched Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 I could not stop being aware of that tapping.  Doug rolled his eyes.  "It's nothing."
"Yes.  But WHAT IS IT if it's nothing?!" 
He shrugged. 

If he's shrugging, it's because he's playing it cool.  It's like what I do to Alexa when she has hurt herself.  I totally downplay her injury no matter how serious because it keeps her calm.  Doug is obviously playing that mind game with me.  He's trying to keep me calm because this is obviously a serious noise.  Mmmmmm . . . .

By the time the morning rolled around, I had decided on 3 possible explanations:
1. something electrical, or with the gas to our fireplace
2. paranormal, like maybe our fireplace is actually a portal to another dimension, and there's a person trapped at the portal, and they're tapping out an S.O.S.  Hmmm.  That's bad.  Who do you call if there's a portal to another dimension in your house?  Wait . . .  in Stranger Things- the portal to another dimension was actually controlled by the Russians.
3. It's probably Russian spy technology that has gone bad and they're just waiting for us to leave long enough for them to invade our house and install new technology. 

I told Doug about my theories, and he said, "It's nothing.  I'm glad you're not being a freak about this or anything."   Then he rolled his eyes and walked off. 

Sunday night, I could still hear that dang noise.  I mean- WHAT IS GOING ON?! AND WHY DOES'T HE CARE?!!!!!   Then he says, "It's probably just the air filter knocking around in the air return."  Oh.  Huh.  That is actually pretty possible.  Well why didn't he just tell me that Saturday night?! Then I wouldn't have come up with all these crazy theories when I should have been sleeping?! 

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