A Bad Mood
This is a tough school year. It feels like there are a lot of changes happening. I'm struggling with them. It's bringing about a lot of inner turmoil. Why am I struggling with these changes? Is it because I hate change? Is it because I am becoming one of those old, crusty teachers that refuses to try new things because the old way is what I'm familiar with, and the old way is the "right" way?
It's not just at school though. I feel like our community is changing so much. There is so much development happening. Another parcel of land is sold, yet another shopping area is being developed, more roads, more traffic, more angry feelings whenever I have to go somewhere because I'll have to sit through lights, and stop and go traffic, more waiting in lines or to be sat at a restaurant. I know, I know, change is good, more options, more tax base, more everything . . . but is change better?
One of my all time favorite movies is "You've Got Mail" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Anyway, Meg Ryan's character is talking about her independent book store being put out of business by a large chain bookstore and she says, "People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened. My store is closing this week. I own a store, did I ever tell you that? It's a lovely store, and in a week it will be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap. Soon, it'll just be a memory. In fact, someone, some foolish person, will probably think it's a tribute to this city, the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something." Anyway- that's how I'm feeling right now, that change is just happening, to happen. Not because it's necessarily fixing anything that was broken, but because "it's a natural progression of life. . . "
By the time the school day ended today. . . I was in a ridiculously HORRIFIC mood. For no particular reason. The day wasn't bad, in fact, the day was actually pretty good considering we were testing 1/2 of the school. My department is awesome and we were proactive in preparing students for the many changes of the day, so we had no crazy surprises in that area. The process of testing went amazingly smooth- considering the entire school was disrupted, and literally 1/2 of the school was testing. The kids I tested had great behavior. There was really no reason for my bad mood. But I had a BAD mood. And I realized, I need to get this under control. I can't be spreading my negative to others. I need to figure out how to get myself pointed in the right direction. I hate feeling this way. I don't like feeling resentful, irritated, and like I am boiling under my skin. It's a yuck feeling.
I can turn my mood around. I will go back to finding at least three positive things a day to focus on.I won't be a Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, or Sour Sue. I won't. I will focus on good things, and then I feel good. I feel better already . . . plus, it's 9:20, I've done all my school stuff for tomorrow, my coffee is prepped, the kids are in bed, and I'm in pajamas. :-)
It's not just at school though. I feel like our community is changing so much. There is so much development happening. Another parcel of land is sold, yet another shopping area is being developed, more roads, more traffic, more angry feelings whenever I have to go somewhere because I'll have to sit through lights, and stop and go traffic, more waiting in lines or to be sat at a restaurant. I know, I know, change is good, more options, more tax base, more everything . . . but is change better?
One of my all time favorite movies is "You've Got Mail" with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. Anyway, Meg Ryan's character is talking about her independent book store being put out of business by a large chain bookstore and she says, "People are always telling you that change is a good thing. But all they're really saying is that something you didn't want to happen at all... has happened. My store is closing this week. I own a store, did I ever tell you that? It's a lovely store, and in a week it will be something really depressing, like a Baby Gap. Soon, it'll just be a memory. In fact, someone, some foolish person, will probably think it's a tribute to this city, the way it keeps changing on you, the way you can never count on it, or something." Anyway- that's how I'm feeling right now, that change is just happening, to happen. Not because it's necessarily fixing anything that was broken, but because "it's a natural progression of life. . . "
By the time the school day ended today. . . I was in a ridiculously HORRIFIC mood. For no particular reason. The day wasn't bad, in fact, the day was actually pretty good considering we were testing 1/2 of the school. My department is awesome and we were proactive in preparing students for the many changes of the day, so we had no crazy surprises in that area. The process of testing went amazingly smooth- considering the entire school was disrupted, and literally 1/2 of the school was testing. The kids I tested had great behavior. There was really no reason for my bad mood. But I had a BAD mood. And I realized, I need to get this under control. I can't be spreading my negative to others. I need to figure out how to get myself pointed in the right direction. I hate feeling this way. I don't like feeling resentful, irritated, and like I am boiling under my skin. It's a yuck feeling.
I can turn my mood around. I will go back to finding at least three positive things a day to focus on.I won't be a Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, or Sour Sue. I won't. I will focus on good things, and then I feel good. I feel better already . . . plus, it's 9:20, I've done all my school stuff for tomorrow, my coffee is prepped, the kids are in bed, and I'm in pajamas. :-)
I'm stealing sour sue
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