Birds
I am afraid of birds. I cannot explain my fear of them. It's not rational. It doesn't make sense. My family makes fun of me. Especially because I like to hold baby chicks. But I want NOTHING to do with chickens. That's not to say I don't appreciate a super cool hawk that hangs in my hard for awhile, or the bird family when they nest in my wreath- but I like to admire when there is a window between me and them.
One time a bird flew in our house. I was home on maternity leave with Alexa. Andrew and Doug were at school. Alexa was napping in her room. I had stepped in the garage for a second, and left the door open- since it would just be for a second, and suddenly a bird flew in the house. I screamed and ran in the garage. I left my newborn baby in house- alone with a bird. What if it pooped on her????? I stood in the garage for awhile debating on what to do (there was a lot of jumping around, hand flapping, and squealing involved). Eventually, I ran around to the front door, and then opened the door to the garage, closed the pocket door between the kitchen (where the bird was stuck) and the rest of the house and fretted. I was hungry. It was almost lunch time. (Later- I solved that problem by stopping by Taco Bell. I'm so resourceful). The bird wouldn't leave!!! I called Doug. He's never very sympathetic to me in times of crisis. He said, "Kate- I'm at work. What am I supposed to do?! I can't leave!" Fine- Mr. Unhelpful! I decided to put a sheet over my head- and attempt to open the windows and take the screens out. No easy task- when you're covered in a sheet- in case you were wondering. Why was I covered in a sheet? Duh. It can't poop on me, nor will I be touched by its icky scaly feet. Shortly after that- I left to go to Taco Bell and pick up Andrew. I never opened the pocket door again- until much later, when Doug got home later. At which point- the bird had figured out how to fly out. If Doug had never come home, I wonder how long I would go without opening the door?
Just now, I'm sitting on the deck, blogging away, while Alexa runs around, being entertaining. The back door is open because we're weirdos like that, plus the temperature is lovely right now. Suddenly a bird flies down and lands on the door jam. I was startled by it because it flapped sort of loudly. It must have been a young bird, it wasn't exactly a smooth flier. Plus, I thought it was going to fly inside. I screamed, "HOLY SH**!" Alexa comes running back over and the bird flies away. I couldn't talk I was laughing so hard at myself. I can't say I am a 100% great at not swearing in front of my children, but if I do- I am not usually so loud about it. The next door neighbors would definitely have heard me (and there's probably 50 yards between us) And then I laughed because my first reaction was to run away from the house- not save Andrew- who, if the bird had flown in- would have been alone in the house with the horrifying thing. Andrew's not real great at dealing with creatures, so he probably would have freaked. Of course, my solution would have been- for us to all stay outside, until Doug got back home and dealt with it. I'm super brave.
One time a bird flew in our house. I was home on maternity leave with Alexa. Andrew and Doug were at school. Alexa was napping in her room. I had stepped in the garage for a second, and left the door open- since it would just be for a second, and suddenly a bird flew in the house. I screamed and ran in the garage. I left my newborn baby in house- alone with a bird. What if it pooped on her????? I stood in the garage for awhile debating on what to do (there was a lot of jumping around, hand flapping, and squealing involved). Eventually, I ran around to the front door, and then opened the door to the garage, closed the pocket door between the kitchen (where the bird was stuck) and the rest of the house and fretted. I was hungry. It was almost lunch time. (Later- I solved that problem by stopping by Taco Bell. I'm so resourceful). The bird wouldn't leave!!! I called Doug. He's never very sympathetic to me in times of crisis. He said, "Kate- I'm at work. What am I supposed to do?! I can't leave!" Fine- Mr. Unhelpful! I decided to put a sheet over my head- and attempt to open the windows and take the screens out. No easy task- when you're covered in a sheet- in case you were wondering. Why was I covered in a sheet? Duh. It can't poop on me, nor will I be touched by its icky scaly feet. Shortly after that- I left to go to Taco Bell and pick up Andrew. I never opened the pocket door again- until much later, when Doug got home later. At which point- the bird had figured out how to fly out. If Doug had never come home, I wonder how long I would go without opening the door?
Just now, I'm sitting on the deck, blogging away, while Alexa runs around, being entertaining. The back door is open because we're weirdos like that, plus the temperature is lovely right now. Suddenly a bird flies down and lands on the door jam. I was startled by it because it flapped sort of loudly. It must have been a young bird, it wasn't exactly a smooth flier. Plus, I thought it was going to fly inside. I screamed, "HOLY SH**!" Alexa comes running back over and the bird flies away. I couldn't talk I was laughing so hard at myself. I can't say I am a 100% great at not swearing in front of my children, but if I do- I am not usually so loud about it. The next door neighbors would definitely have heard me (and there's probably 50 yards between us) And then I laughed because my first reaction was to run away from the house- not save Andrew- who, if the bird had flown in- would have been alone in the house with the horrifying thing. Andrew's not real great at dealing with creatures, so he probably would have freaked. Of course, my solution would have been- for us to all stay outside, until Doug got back home and dealt with it. I'm super brave.
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