Don't Wreck My Break
Yesterday/Monday was the first day of the summer that my kids were actually together. I viewed it as the first "real" day of summer. We had no guests, nothing special planned, it was a regular summer day.
Andrew infuriated Alexa approximately 12 billion times, and she stomped to her room and slammed the door every time.
Doug received a text at 4pm that I needed time away from the kids and when he got home- I would be taking it.
Day 1.
Day 1 I was so fed up and frustrated with them. They were bored. I had taken technology away (they can have an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening). I was determined to not be the cruise director all day. I did a few things- and then . . . they had to figure out how to entertain themselves on their own. It's not unreasonable. I'm not responsible for their entertainment 16 hours a day.
At 5:00pm they had both been sent to their rooms indefinitely. I just couldn't deal with them anymore. I had told Doug a few weeks ago that I knew this would be a rough summer. Andrew's very existence infuriates Alexa. Everything he does grates on her nerves. A few weeks ago I told Andrew, "This is the first summer I'm not really looking forward to being with you." See, he's 13. While he's not moody, he does have an incredibly "witty" comeback for every.single.stinking.thing.anyone.says. (part of why he irritates Alexa so badly).
At 5:00pm I was ready to find a job, find a few thousand dollars worth of camps and hide from kids all summer. But then, I got an idea. And I don't mind telling you, it is brilliant.
One of the reasons that I HATE having to deal with either of them when Alexa has gotten mad is because I have to choose sides. I have to essentially choose which one overreacted or which one instigated it and therefore- which one is "wrong." I HATE choosing that constantly. Ignoring either of their behaviors, condones it. Addressing it- means determining which one is wrong or right. But I have figured it out y'all. I have their number now.
I have a proactive plan- and they HATE it. Which means it's brilliant.
Whenever Alexa stomps off to her room, they are both sent to their rooms for 30 minutes. While there, they have to write a reflection. Alexa has to answer 4 questions: Date, Time, What Andrew did to make her mad, and How she could have responded differently. Andrew has to answer 4 similar questions: Date, Time, Why Alexa got mad, and What he could have done to prevent it. I love this idea y'all. LOVE. IT. First of all- they both are aware of the consequence. It's out there. I'm not reacting to them. They're making choices with their behavior- knowing what can possibly happen. Second of all- it's equally unfair to both- making it fair. They get the same punishment. I'm not having to choose who gets yelled at or whatever. Third of all- it gives me a 30 minute time away from referring them. Referring kids is exhausting.
We had our first incident tonight. They were outside playing basketball. Alexa stomped in the house, grabbed the notepad I created for this, stomped to her room, and did her thing. Andrew . . . Andrew had to be told 3 times, finally getting the old, "Make me ask again. See what happens." He took his notepad and pen to his room, then came out 3 times to "ask me a question." then I gave him crazy eyes, and he went into his room. Where he talked loudly about, how he had 17 more minutes. 12 more minutes . . . then started calling to Alexa and she responded back, and they were arguing while being punished for arguing. Jokes on them. I have a new plan for that too. I'm putting the speaker in between their rooms, and playing music loud enough they can't hear each other to instigate from within their rooms. Sometimes good and annoying like brass band marching music. That should really annoy them. Plus it's loud. And annoying. I can go outside, or to my bathroom and avoid it- so . . . I'm good. Moral is . . . don't tangle with mom. This is her summer break, and by God these kids won't stress me out!
Andrew infuriated Alexa approximately 12 billion times, and she stomped to her room and slammed the door every time.
Doug received a text at 4pm that I needed time away from the kids and when he got home- I would be taking it.
Day 1.
Day 1 I was so fed up and frustrated with them. They were bored. I had taken technology away (they can have an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening). I was determined to not be the cruise director all day. I did a few things- and then . . . they had to figure out how to entertain themselves on their own. It's not unreasonable. I'm not responsible for their entertainment 16 hours a day.
At 5:00pm they had both been sent to their rooms indefinitely. I just couldn't deal with them anymore. I had told Doug a few weeks ago that I knew this would be a rough summer. Andrew's very existence infuriates Alexa. Everything he does grates on her nerves. A few weeks ago I told Andrew, "This is the first summer I'm not really looking forward to being with you." See, he's 13. While he's not moody, he does have an incredibly "witty" comeback for every.single.stinking.thing.anyone.says. (part of why he irritates Alexa so badly).
At 5:00pm I was ready to find a job, find a few thousand dollars worth of camps and hide from kids all summer. But then, I got an idea. And I don't mind telling you, it is brilliant.
One of the reasons that I HATE having to deal with either of them when Alexa has gotten mad is because I have to choose sides. I have to essentially choose which one overreacted or which one instigated it and therefore- which one is "wrong." I HATE choosing that constantly. Ignoring either of their behaviors, condones it. Addressing it- means determining which one is wrong or right. But I have figured it out y'all. I have their number now.
I have a proactive plan- and they HATE it. Which means it's brilliant.
Whenever Alexa stomps off to her room, they are both sent to their rooms for 30 minutes. While there, they have to write a reflection. Alexa has to answer 4 questions: Date, Time, What Andrew did to make her mad, and How she could have responded differently. Andrew has to answer 4 similar questions: Date, Time, Why Alexa got mad, and What he could have done to prevent it. I love this idea y'all. LOVE. IT. First of all- they both are aware of the consequence. It's out there. I'm not reacting to them. They're making choices with their behavior- knowing what can possibly happen. Second of all- it's equally unfair to both- making it fair. They get the same punishment. I'm not having to choose who gets yelled at or whatever. Third of all- it gives me a 30 minute time away from referring them. Referring kids is exhausting.
We had our first incident tonight. They were outside playing basketball. Alexa stomped in the house, grabbed the notepad I created for this, stomped to her room, and did her thing. Andrew . . . Andrew had to be told 3 times, finally getting the old, "Make me ask again. See what happens." He took his notepad and pen to his room, then came out 3 times to "ask me a question." then I gave him crazy eyes, and he went into his room. Where he talked loudly about, how he had 17 more minutes. 12 more minutes . . . then started calling to Alexa and she responded back, and they were arguing while being punished for arguing. Jokes on them. I have a new plan for that too. I'm putting the speaker in between their rooms, and playing music loud enough they can't hear each other to instigate from within their rooms. Sometimes good and annoying like brass band marching music. That should really annoy them. Plus it's loud. And annoying. I can go outside, or to my bathroom and avoid it- so . . . I'm good. Moral is . . . don't tangle with mom. This is her summer break, and by God these kids won't stress me out!
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