It's Exhausting
Teachers had the option of starting back this week. I only went to school Wednesday, Thursday, & Friday. I left right at 3pm because I had to pick Alexa up from Pottery Camp. There were no kids, and not a lot of teachers on campus. Each day I came home EXHAUSTED. Had to lay down and take a nap as soon as I walked in the door because I just couldn't think about anything else.
My naps are only 10-15 minutes. They're not so much for physical exhaustion, they're to reset my brain. I am finding that the older I get the more I am impacted by external stimulation. Around July 4 when we were putting the river rock bed in, and it was so stinking hot, or the weeks when I was cleaning up from all the tree debacle; I would work so hard. I would be a sweaty gross mess. My arms or back would be sore, but I wasn't mentally exhausted. Being around people is so much more fatiguing to me.
All day long I have to think of the correct response. I had to call a parent and tell her I had originally given her the wrong information, so I needed her to come to school and fill out paperwork. She wanted to know why. I had to think of a polite, appropriate way to say, "Because our school system is so f*&% bureaucratic and we do stupid &^&% all the time to satisfy some horse's patoot who sits at one desk all day and thinks up more dumb &*%$ for us to do!" I think of appropriate responses all day. Yeah- that's right y'all, the dumb thing I said . . . I actually planned that. It just didn't sound so dumb in my head. Thinking of the appropriate response exhausts me.
I won't lie . . . I'm staring to get a little worried about what's going to happen when school actually starts. If I'm this tired now, and I'm only talking to like a few people, what happens when the kids come back?! By the end of the day, I'll be agreeing to who knows what because I'll unfocused and distracted by my mental fatigue. They're teenagers! They'll totally capitalize on my weakness! I'll be the teacher who has kids crawling out the windows. I should start bring ing a cat in my school bag now, that way I'll look as loony as I feel.
My naps are only 10-15 minutes. They're not so much for physical exhaustion, they're to reset my brain. I am finding that the older I get the more I am impacted by external stimulation. Around July 4 when we were putting the river rock bed in, and it was so stinking hot, or the weeks when I was cleaning up from all the tree debacle; I would work so hard. I would be a sweaty gross mess. My arms or back would be sore, but I wasn't mentally exhausted. Being around people is so much more fatiguing to me.
All day long I have to think of the correct response. I had to call a parent and tell her I had originally given her the wrong information, so I needed her to come to school and fill out paperwork. She wanted to know why. I had to think of a polite, appropriate way to say, "Because our school system is so f*&% bureaucratic and we do stupid &^&% all the time to satisfy some horse's patoot who sits at one desk all day and thinks up more dumb &*%$ for us to do!" I think of appropriate responses all day. Yeah- that's right y'all, the dumb thing I said . . . I actually planned that. It just didn't sound so dumb in my head. Thinking of the appropriate response exhausts me.
I won't lie . . . I'm staring to get a little worried about what's going to happen when school actually starts. If I'm this tired now, and I'm only talking to like a few people, what happens when the kids come back?! By the end of the day, I'll be agreeing to who knows what because I'll unfocused and distracted by my mental fatigue. They're teenagers! They'll totally capitalize on my weakness! I'll be the teacher who has kids crawling out the windows. I should start bring ing a cat in my school bag now, that way I'll look as loony as I feel.
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