Is This For Real?
I got walloped last night by a realization: Alexa is growing up. You're like, "Duh! We see that in the pictures. Where have you been, Kate?!" I don't know. How did this happen so suddenly?!
Earlier this week, I think Tuesday, I was putting Alexa to bed and as she was getting in, I said, "Where's Lovey?" She said, "I'm not going to sleep with her, because I suck my fingers when I have her, and I'm afraid my teeth will fall out." (Her top 2 teeth are starting to get super wiggly. It's traumatic for her though. Loose teeth creates a lot of drama- which makes this all the more sad). I didn't say anything out loud, but in my head, I was like, "Yeah, right you're going to sleep without Lovey?! Sure. Mm-mmm." When I went back downstairs, I got Lovey and brought it up to her, because historically she can't sleep without Lovey. She was exhausted and she needed her sleep. She needed Lovey- according to me, and I know everything. Just ask me. I kissed her again- and went downstairs to do schoolwork.
Doug put her to bed Wednesday & Thursday.
Friday night I put her to bed, and Lovey was missing. I asked where she was, and Alexa said, "Remember- I'm not sleeping with her, because I suck my fingers? I put her behind my bed, so I can't get to her." WHAT?!!!! That was 3 days ago. How have I not been aware of this?!
I snuggled her extra close, because the realization was just starting to hit me. OMG- she's . . . g r ow i n g up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She already has one foot out the door!!!!!!!!!!!!! I snuggled her to the point that she said, "MOM!!!! Stop!" So I got out of her bed, went to Doug and said, "Are you aware that she's not sucking her fingers or sleeping with Lovey?!!!" He said- "Well, yeah, she said something about that. . . " And then I cried. I didn't sob or anything, but I got teary. I still am. I just can't believe so many things about this- but they all point to her growing up. Which makes me the saddest of all.
1. Lovey has been around since she was only weeks old. It has gone everywhere with us. We've been afraid to leave home without because it was the ONLY thing that could soothe her temper. She'd get revved up- we'd give her Lovey, she'd suck her fingers, and calm down. This is actually not the first blog, dedicated to Lovey: "Ode to Lovey"
2. Alexa still sucks her fingers- or she did. She usually only did it when she was tired.. Doug gets on her. I don't. I don't want to pay for braces, but . . . a couple thousand dollars is a drop in the bucket if Alexa can self sooth. (I'm only being about 50% sarcastic here . . . ). I figured maybe this upcoming summer I would start to deal with the finger situation . . . it never occurred to me Alexa would deal with it on her own. That makes me the saddest. She's so independent. She doesn't need me at all. Literally- she doesn't need me. She could fix her own food (of course, she only eats: cheese sandwiches, yogurt, apples, and junk- all things she can fix on her own)
3. I'm afraid her independence is a sign that she'll one day, grow up, and leave. She'll go to some far away city that I can only get to by plane, and I'll be so lonely for her. She won't be lonely for me, because she's grown up and independent, and doesn't need her mom. She's gonna be all, "I don't remember the woman that shot me from her loins."
4. I'm also . . . stunned. Seriously. Doug or I, had no idea she had actually hidden Lovey in a place where she couldn't easily access her. I assumed one day, far into the future, when Alexa tried to give up Lovey it would be weeks worth of emotions that couldn't be contained or soothed. She hasn't cried once this week! She's stomped off . . . but that's pretty normal. And it was only half- hearted stomping. How was this transition been so smooth?!!!!
Oh Alexa. You're the most surprising girl, in all the best and most unexpected ways- even if they sometimes make me cry.
Earlier this week, I think Tuesday, I was putting Alexa to bed and as she was getting in, I said, "Where's Lovey?" She said, "I'm not going to sleep with her, because I suck my fingers when I have her, and I'm afraid my teeth will fall out." (Her top 2 teeth are starting to get super wiggly. It's traumatic for her though. Loose teeth creates a lot of drama- which makes this all the more sad). I didn't say anything out loud, but in my head, I was like, "Yeah, right you're going to sleep without Lovey?! Sure. Mm-mmm." When I went back downstairs, I got Lovey and brought it up to her, because historically she can't sleep without Lovey. She was exhausted and she needed her sleep. She needed Lovey- according to me, and I know everything. Just ask me. I kissed her again- and went downstairs to do schoolwork.
Doug put her to bed Wednesday & Thursday.
Friday night I put her to bed, and Lovey was missing. I asked where she was, and Alexa said, "Remember- I'm not sleeping with her, because I suck my fingers? I put her behind my bed, so I can't get to her." WHAT?!!!! That was 3 days ago. How have I not been aware of this?!
I snuggled her extra close, because the realization was just starting to hit me. OMG- she's . . . g r ow i n g up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She already has one foot out the door!!!!!!!!!!!!! I snuggled her to the point that she said, "MOM!!!! Stop!" So I got out of her bed, went to Doug and said, "Are you aware that she's not sucking her fingers or sleeping with Lovey?!!!" He said- "Well, yeah, she said something about that. . . " And then I cried. I didn't sob or anything, but I got teary. I still am. I just can't believe so many things about this- but they all point to her growing up. Which makes me the saddest of all.
1. Lovey has been around since she was only weeks old. It has gone everywhere with us. We've been afraid to leave home without because it was the ONLY thing that could soothe her temper. She'd get revved up- we'd give her Lovey, she'd suck her fingers, and calm down. This is actually not the first blog, dedicated to Lovey: "Ode to Lovey"
2. Alexa still sucks her fingers- or she did. She usually only did it when she was tired.. Doug gets on her. I don't. I don't want to pay for braces, but . . . a couple thousand dollars is a drop in the bucket if Alexa can self sooth. (I'm only being about 50% sarcastic here . . . ). I figured maybe this upcoming summer I would start to deal with the finger situation . . . it never occurred to me Alexa would deal with it on her own. That makes me the saddest. She's so independent. She doesn't need me at all. Literally- she doesn't need me. She could fix her own food (of course, she only eats: cheese sandwiches, yogurt, apples, and junk- all things she can fix on her own)
3. I'm afraid her independence is a sign that she'll one day, grow up, and leave. She'll go to some far away city that I can only get to by plane, and I'll be so lonely for her. She won't be lonely for me, because she's grown up and independent, and doesn't need her mom. She's gonna be all, "I don't remember the woman that shot me from her loins."
4. I'm also . . . stunned. Seriously. Doug or I, had no idea she had actually hidden Lovey in a place where she couldn't easily access her. I assumed one day, far into the future, when Alexa tried to give up Lovey it would be weeks worth of emotions that couldn't be contained or soothed. She hasn't cried once this week! She's stomped off . . . but that's pretty normal. And it was only half- hearted stomping. How was this transition been so smooth?!!!!
Oh Alexa. You're the most surprising girl, in all the best and most unexpected ways- even if they sometimes make me cry.
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