The Weak Link
Y'all I had a realization today. I started to become aware of it yesterday, but then today . . . well it could be denied no longer. The truth was directly in my face. I realized I am the Weak Link. I have always thought of myself as the hard a$$ parent. I am the tough one. I am The Boss.
It turns out those things were only in my imagination. In my imagination I'm the tough parent. In my imagination I'm the hard a$$. In my imagination I am The Boss. In reality . . . I'm the push over. I'm the sucker. I'm the one they come to because they know the other parent says no.
I'm stunned. Truly.
All these years I've been disillusioned. I guess because I come up with the creative consequences, and the ones that are the most punishing, I have assumed that I am the one they don't want to mess with. Well you know what they say about assuming.
Now that I am thinking about it, it turns out I am soooo much like my dad. My dad was the weak link. We loved to go to Wal Mart with him, because we knew we'd score a treat of some variety. (my kids like going to stores with me- they know they're going to score a treat of some variety). Eventually we just stopped going to Wal Mart because he always found someone to talk to, and it took forever, so we convinced him to just bring us home something. He did. We asked him stuff we knew my mom would say no to. Can we go . . . ? Can so and so come over? Can we have . . . ? Can we do . . . ?
Yesterday, we were at Harris Teeter picking up subs for lunch when the kids found Oreos that were Swedish Fish flavored. Doug and our friend with us, said, "Ewww, no!" Well, Andrew knows. He ain't no dumb dumb. He fell back from the group to walk with me, and said, "Man, I really wish we could try those Oreos." I said, "I know man. Me too." Wait, what?!!! Really? What can I say? I want to try Swedish Fish Oreos. Why not???? They're Oreos. I love Oreos. I love Swedish Fish. I agreed to the purchase, purely for scientific purposes. Not because I am a sucker. Oh wait . . . yes I am! What adult agrees to buy Swedish Fish Oreos?!!!! This adult. This push over.
Here's the deal, okay. I'm the push over parent. That's okay. My dad was too. Kids need the balance between the actual tough parent and the parent that's just the imaginary tough parent. And here's the thing, my dad hardly ever said, "No." But when he did . . . it stuck with me. He told me when I was in like 8th grade, I wasn't allowed to watch "Full Metal Jacket." I was a 30 year adult before I watched it. I guess I figured, if my dad actually said no- it must be really bad. He was right. It was really bad. He was right to say no.
So, okay I'm the push over, but guess what . . . it's okay. I know that when I say "no." I'll really mean it, and my kids know it too . . . eventually.
It turns out those things were only in my imagination. In my imagination I'm the tough parent. In my imagination I'm the hard a$$. In my imagination I am The Boss. In reality . . . I'm the push over. I'm the sucker. I'm the one they come to because they know the other parent says no.
I'm stunned. Truly.
All these years I've been disillusioned. I guess because I come up with the creative consequences, and the ones that are the most punishing, I have assumed that I am the one they don't want to mess with. Well you know what they say about assuming.
Now that I am thinking about it, it turns out I am soooo much like my dad. My dad was the weak link. We loved to go to Wal Mart with him, because we knew we'd score a treat of some variety. (my kids like going to stores with me- they know they're going to score a treat of some variety). Eventually we just stopped going to Wal Mart because he always found someone to talk to, and it took forever, so we convinced him to just bring us home something. He did. We asked him stuff we knew my mom would say no to. Can we go . . . ? Can so and so come over? Can we have . . . ? Can we do . . . ?
Yesterday, we were at Harris Teeter picking up subs for lunch when the kids found Oreos that were Swedish Fish flavored. Doug and our friend with us, said, "Ewww, no!" Well, Andrew knows. He ain't no dumb dumb. He fell back from the group to walk with me, and said, "Man, I really wish we could try those Oreos." I said, "I know man. Me too." Wait, what?!!! Really? What can I say? I want to try Swedish Fish Oreos. Why not???? They're Oreos. I love Oreos. I love Swedish Fish. I agreed to the purchase, purely for scientific purposes. Not because I am a sucker. Oh wait . . . yes I am! What adult agrees to buy Swedish Fish Oreos?!!!! This adult. This push over.
Here's the deal, okay. I'm the push over parent. That's okay. My dad was too. Kids need the balance between the actual tough parent and the parent that's just the imaginary tough parent. And here's the thing, my dad hardly ever said, "No." But when he did . . . it stuck with me. He told me when I was in like 8th grade, I wasn't allowed to watch "Full Metal Jacket." I was a 30 year adult before I watched it. I guess I figured, if my dad actually said no- it must be really bad. He was right. It was really bad. He was right to say no.
So, okay I'm the push over, but guess what . . . it's okay. I know that when I say "no." I'll really mean it, and my kids know it too . . . eventually.
Comments
Post a Comment