Companions
When Alexa was first born . . . she was quite the disruption to Andrew's pretty sweet life. For the previous 5 years, he had been the sole focus of most of my attention. Then suddenly, a loud, temperamental baby came storming into his home, and nothing was ever the same after that.
For the first 3 years of Alexa's life, Andrew was mostly disinterested in her and her presence. He never did anything super mean, but he never really did much good either. He simply tolerated her existence, but possibly hoped she'd leave for some reason.
Sometime around 3.5 years old, Alexa stopped crying so much. She stopped being quite as temperamental. She was developmentally at a stage where she desired interaction with another human, when she played, as opposed to the side by side playing she'd been doing. However, Andrew hadn't quite let go of the resentment that she was not always the funnest playmate, so he didn't play too much with her, plus she was deep in the princess phase, and he was definitely NOT into that.
Upon starting kindergarten, an entirely new interaction cropped up for Andrew and Alexa. One that I enjoy watching. I won't lie, I honestly thought Andrew would ignore Alexa in the hallways. I imagined his friends waving at her, in the hallway, and him being slightly embarrassed by her. My heart hurt a bit for her. However, that is not what has happened at all. I assumed I would have to pay him- to look out for her- in a mediocre way- the first few days of the school year. I was wrong, in the best possible way.
Alexa wanted Andrew to walk her into school on her second day of school. Doug and I got ditched, and quickly. Andrew not only walked her to her classroom, but he let her sit with him in Early Bird (for those of you that don't know what that is, that's the morning "daycare" program at their school. They go there, until they can go to their classrooms, usually about 15- 20 minutes). Andrew is the coolest of the cool- simply because he's a 5th grader. Fifth graders are the oldest students in the building. To kindergartners . . . they're so cool! He let Alexa sit with him . . . for weeks, possibly months. I stopped asking. He didn't seem to mind her presence. I asked him, once. I'm not saying they get along . . . (I'm not going to glorify this, they've had squabbles. They ratted each other out about a few.) but he looks out for her.
They play together . . . a lot. They watch tv together . . . a lot. A few weeks ago, we were at a baseball tournament. The coolest playground I have ever seen, was there. The siblings had been playing on the playground for the entire first day of the tournament. The second day- the players all played on it. I was sitting near the playground. The players and the siblings were playing a giant game of tag. Andrew helped Alexa get over obstacles and hide. I was so proud of him. He's with all of his favorite boys. They're playing a game, and instead of ignoring his sister, or leaving her on her own, he helped her. It would have been understandable to leave her . . . it was an intense game of tag, he's super competitive, by helping her, he risked getting tagged. He risked it.
That was a significant moment for me. I started being more aware of other times I see them together. How they interact with each other. Do they get along all of the time? No. That would be weird. I have started to notice that they enjoy each other a lot more often, than when they don't.
I remember one time before I even thought about having a second baby, I had taken Andrew to this really neat playground. He was playing and having fun, but there was a sense of loneliness to it. I was watching all of these other kids, playing together- and Andrew was an individual, playing with his mom. I felt so bad for him. It seemed lonely and isolating. Thankfully, neither one of them are lonely and isolated because they have each other.
For the first 3 years of Alexa's life, Andrew was mostly disinterested in her and her presence. He never did anything super mean, but he never really did much good either. He simply tolerated her existence, but possibly hoped she'd leave for some reason.
Sometime around 3.5 years old, Alexa stopped crying so much. She stopped being quite as temperamental. She was developmentally at a stage where she desired interaction with another human, when she played, as opposed to the side by side playing she'd been doing. However, Andrew hadn't quite let go of the resentment that she was not always the funnest playmate, so he didn't play too much with her, plus she was deep in the princess phase, and he was definitely NOT into that.
Upon starting kindergarten, an entirely new interaction cropped up for Andrew and Alexa. One that I enjoy watching. I won't lie, I honestly thought Andrew would ignore Alexa in the hallways. I imagined his friends waving at her, in the hallway, and him being slightly embarrassed by her. My heart hurt a bit for her. However, that is not what has happened at all. I assumed I would have to pay him- to look out for her- in a mediocre way- the first few days of the school year. I was wrong, in the best possible way.
Alexa wanted Andrew to walk her into school on her second day of school. Doug and I got ditched, and quickly. Andrew not only walked her to her classroom, but he let her sit with him in Early Bird (for those of you that don't know what that is, that's the morning "daycare" program at their school. They go there, until they can go to their classrooms, usually about 15- 20 minutes). Andrew is the coolest of the cool- simply because he's a 5th grader. Fifth graders are the oldest students in the building. To kindergartners . . . they're so cool! He let Alexa sit with him . . . for weeks, possibly months. I stopped asking. He didn't seem to mind her presence. I asked him, once. I'm not saying they get along . . . (I'm not going to glorify this, they've had squabbles. They ratted each other out about a few.) but he looks out for her.
They play together . . . a lot. They watch tv together . . . a lot. A few weeks ago, we were at a baseball tournament. The coolest playground I have ever seen, was there. The siblings had been playing on the playground for the entire first day of the tournament. The second day- the players all played on it. I was sitting near the playground. The players and the siblings were playing a giant game of tag. Andrew helped Alexa get over obstacles and hide. I was so proud of him. He's with all of his favorite boys. They're playing a game, and instead of ignoring his sister, or leaving her on her own, he helped her. It would have been understandable to leave her . . . it was an intense game of tag, he's super competitive, by helping her, he risked getting tagged. He risked it.
That was a significant moment for me. I started being more aware of other times I see them together. How they interact with each other. Do they get along all of the time? No. That would be weird. I have started to notice that they enjoy each other a lot more often, than when they don't.
I remember one time before I even thought about having a second baby, I had taken Andrew to this really neat playground. He was playing and having fun, but there was a sense of loneliness to it. I was watching all of these other kids, playing together- and Andrew was an individual, playing with his mom. I felt so bad for him. It seemed lonely and isolating. Thankfully, neither one of them are lonely and isolated because they have each other.
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