Urban Legend? Or Lack of Sensitivity?
Last Saturday morning I woke up and my left ear was clogged. I could barely hear out of it. It was so annoying. I could hear myself chewing and talking- loudly. What was anyone else saying? Hell if I know. The weird thing is, I didn't feel congested and I had no pain, but I used up all of my mother -in- laws Sudafed, and put a good dent in her Ibuprofen supply, in an attempt to unclog my ear. It didn't get any better. My ear was clogged and the world remained muffled.
I figured I would eventually do something about it, but since it doesn't hurt, I don't feel a real rush. Plus, this awful thought creeped into my thoughts.
Do you remember way back in the day, hearing about that girl that had what looked like a big zit on her face, and one night while she was taking a bath, she broke the gigantic zit open and all these baby spiders came pouring out of it? Oh gahhhh, just typing that has my skin crawling. I mean, ewwwwwww!!!!! I'm sure it's just an urban legend, but maybe it's true? Maybe a spider crawled into my ear and instead of being clogged with mucous, my ear is clogged with baby spiders?! Ignorance is bliss folks and I am not going to a doctor to find out there's a bug in my ear!
So last night, as we're getting into bed, I say, "Man, my ear is still clogged!" Doug says, "Still? Jeez . . . why don't you get that taken care of?!" Then I made the mistake, and I mean, catastrophic mistake, of indicating my real fear is, there's a bug in my ear. Oh Doug, my completely insensitive, clod of a husband has a hay day with this. He says, "Well, we know those spiders aren't brain eaters, they'd go hungry in your head!" Then he says, "You want me to go out to the gun safe and get my ear muffs, that are super tight, to keep those spiders confined in there? I don't want them crawling over to my side of the bed!" And then finally he says, "Make sure you sleep with your left ear down on the pillow so that the spiders don't crawl over to me."
Do you know what I was doing while he was zinging me with insensitive remarks? I got out back out of bed, got him an ibuprofen and water because his neck hurt. I took care of his needs and he made fun of mine. Ladies, we don't love men for their sensitivity. We love men for . . . well, we love them for . . . well . . . Jeez, I don't know why we love them. We just do. Maybe the spiders have already eaten my brain, because why would I love someone so much that is so insensitive to my hyper imagination?!
I figured I would eventually do something about it, but since it doesn't hurt, I don't feel a real rush. Plus, this awful thought creeped into my thoughts.
Do you remember way back in the day, hearing about that girl that had what looked like a big zit on her face, and one night while she was taking a bath, she broke the gigantic zit open and all these baby spiders came pouring out of it? Oh gahhhh, just typing that has my skin crawling. I mean, ewwwwwww!!!!! I'm sure it's just an urban legend, but maybe it's true? Maybe a spider crawled into my ear and instead of being clogged with mucous, my ear is clogged with baby spiders?! Ignorance is bliss folks and I am not going to a doctor to find out there's a bug in my ear!
So last night, as we're getting into bed, I say, "Man, my ear is still clogged!" Doug says, "Still? Jeez . . . why don't you get that taken care of?!" Then I made the mistake, and I mean, catastrophic mistake, of indicating my real fear is, there's a bug in my ear. Oh Doug, my completely insensitive, clod of a husband has a hay day with this. He says, "Well, we know those spiders aren't brain eaters, they'd go hungry in your head!" Then he says, "You want me to go out to the gun safe and get my ear muffs, that are super tight, to keep those spiders confined in there? I don't want them crawling over to my side of the bed!" And then finally he says, "Make sure you sleep with your left ear down on the pillow so that the spiders don't crawl over to me."
Do you know what I was doing while he was zinging me with insensitive remarks? I got out back out of bed, got him an ibuprofen and water because his neck hurt. I took care of his needs and he made fun of mine. Ladies, we don't love men for their sensitivity. We love men for . . . well, we love them for . . . well . . . Jeez, I don't know why we love them. We just do. Maybe the spiders have already eaten my brain, because why would I love someone so much that is so insensitive to my hyper imagination?!
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