He Finally Asked
Thirteen years ago, I doubt Doug and I imagined a rainy Sunday morning with kids racing around the house with Hulk hands, screaming and tackling each other, sticky with syrup from our waffles at breakfast. On this day 13 years ago, Doug proposed. Lord, it took him forever. I don't know why- I prove continuously how delightful I am. ;-)
We had dated for well over a year. Again, I don't know what the hold up was. I knew within two weeks of hanging out with him, I needed to look no further, he was It. Looking back, I am glad we dated for awhile. We both knew what we were getting into. We knew I was a neat freak, Doug . . . not so much, we knew how each other grieved (or did not- in my case), we knew how we handled stress, we knew how we made big purchases (I buy immediately, Doug takes over a year to decide). As far as I know, the biggest surprise after we got married was, I was not a morning person. Doug wakes up & loves life. He wants to have deep conversations and savor the morning. I wanted to get through my morning tasks with NO conversation, no eye contact, and pretty much no acknowledgement that I was present in the house with him. There was many a slammed door and ugly word those first few weeks after we lived together, as I stomped out of the house to go to work.
Back to the story- we had dated for well over a year. I was starting to wonder what the deal was- he clearly liked me. We discussed that we probably would get married, so what was the deal? Then on Martin Luther King weekend of 2000, there was a huge ice storm, followed by a huge snow storm. We were snowed in together for a week. He claims that that was the week he realized he could live with me. Apparently loving me and living with me are two different things. (that is actually possible. I readily admit- I'm a pill). At this time in our lives, we worked at the same school, so if he decided to not come to work . . . I would know. Like, in March, I knew the day he didn't come to school. I worried something was wrong. He wouldn't answer his cell phone, which only made me worry more. It was very unlike him to be out of communication. A mutual friend finally soothed my worries with a meaningful look. Oh!!! He was finally going to ask me!!!! Well, then the weeks went by and by and by and by. We went to the beach together for Spring Break and the weeks still went by. I had an emotional break down with our mutual friend. Had he changed his mind? Should I cut my losses and move on? I couldn't live in limbo like that- was he asking or not?!!! I mean- who makes it known they've bought the engagement ring and then goes literally months without asking?! Finally, at the end of April I came to terms with it and gave myself a deadline- if he hadn't asked by the summer time- I'd attempt to move on.
On Friday, May 5 2000, Doug and I made plans to go see a movie. That morning I invited along a guy we taught with. I passed Doug in the hall at one point during the day and said, "Hey, I invited Dave- we'll meet him at Applebees at 5:45." He looked stricken. I was like, "What's his deal? Weirdo." At 5:15 I am literally on the way out the door of my house, when Doug comes tearing up my drive way. I was confused and annoyed- he was screwing up the plans. We were meeting at Applebees- not at my house! What was he doing? Then he gets out of the truck with flowers and says, "YOU SCREWED UP EVERYTHING!!!" Huh? Then he gets down on one knee and I realize . . . Damn, I did screw up his plans. Poor Doug. Serves him right for waiting so long! ;-) And then he proposes. Dave was the first person we told- so we could cancel our plans with him, which he was very understanding about.
If only this were the end of the story. Unfortunately, I told Doug the wrong ring size, so the next morning we took my ring to a jewelers to get stretched. We basically begged them to have it ready by the time it closed, they were pretty sure they could have it ready (I mean, jeez I waited on it for so stinking long- once I had it- I wasn't giving it up!). So we go to Doug's house and do some yard work, where he impales himself in the head and I have to dash him over to Urgent Care for a few staples! We beg them to hurry, so that we can get to the jewelers before they close. Unbelievably- they did! We made it to the jewelers just as they were closing. I am pretty sure they were surprised to see us show up with Doug's head bandaged. (as a side note, a year later, Doug impaled himself in the head again and I took him back to Urgent Care, where we had the same nurse- who remembered us. I told Doug I would never take him back to that Urgent Care again- because she would probably turn me in for spousal abuse!)
And the rest, as they say, is history . . .
We had dated for well over a year. Again, I don't know what the hold up was. I knew within two weeks of hanging out with him, I needed to look no further, he was It. Looking back, I am glad we dated for awhile. We both knew what we were getting into. We knew I was a neat freak, Doug . . . not so much, we knew how each other grieved (or did not- in my case), we knew how we handled stress, we knew how we made big purchases (I buy immediately, Doug takes over a year to decide). As far as I know, the biggest surprise after we got married was, I was not a morning person. Doug wakes up & loves life. He wants to have deep conversations and savor the morning. I wanted to get through my morning tasks with NO conversation, no eye contact, and pretty much no acknowledgement that I was present in the house with him. There was many a slammed door and ugly word those first few weeks after we lived together, as I stomped out of the house to go to work.
Back to the story- we had dated for well over a year. I was starting to wonder what the deal was- he clearly liked me. We discussed that we probably would get married, so what was the deal? Then on Martin Luther King weekend of 2000, there was a huge ice storm, followed by a huge snow storm. We were snowed in together for a week. He claims that that was the week he realized he could live with me. Apparently loving me and living with me are two different things. (that is actually possible. I readily admit- I'm a pill). At this time in our lives, we worked at the same school, so if he decided to not come to work . . . I would know. Like, in March, I knew the day he didn't come to school. I worried something was wrong. He wouldn't answer his cell phone, which only made me worry more. It was very unlike him to be out of communication. A mutual friend finally soothed my worries with a meaningful look. Oh!!! He was finally going to ask me!!!! Well, then the weeks went by and by and by and by. We went to the beach together for Spring Break and the weeks still went by. I had an emotional break down with our mutual friend. Had he changed his mind? Should I cut my losses and move on? I couldn't live in limbo like that- was he asking or not?!!! I mean- who makes it known they've bought the engagement ring and then goes literally months without asking?! Finally, at the end of April I came to terms with it and gave myself a deadline- if he hadn't asked by the summer time- I'd attempt to move on.
On Friday, May 5 2000, Doug and I made plans to go see a movie. That morning I invited along a guy we taught with. I passed Doug in the hall at one point during the day and said, "Hey, I invited Dave- we'll meet him at Applebees at 5:45." He looked stricken. I was like, "What's his deal? Weirdo." At 5:15 I am literally on the way out the door of my house, when Doug comes tearing up my drive way. I was confused and annoyed- he was screwing up the plans. We were meeting at Applebees- not at my house! What was he doing? Then he gets out of the truck with flowers and says, "YOU SCREWED UP EVERYTHING!!!" Huh? Then he gets down on one knee and I realize . . . Damn, I did screw up his plans. Poor Doug. Serves him right for waiting so long! ;-) And then he proposes. Dave was the first person we told- so we could cancel our plans with him, which he was very understanding about.
If only this were the end of the story. Unfortunately, I told Doug the wrong ring size, so the next morning we took my ring to a jewelers to get stretched. We basically begged them to have it ready by the time it closed, they were pretty sure they could have it ready (I mean, jeez I waited on it for so stinking long- once I had it- I wasn't giving it up!). So we go to Doug's house and do some yard work, where he impales himself in the head and I have to dash him over to Urgent Care for a few staples! We beg them to hurry, so that we can get to the jewelers before they close. Unbelievably- they did! We made it to the jewelers just as they were closing. I am pretty sure they were surprised to see us show up with Doug's head bandaged. (as a side note, a year later, Doug impaled himself in the head again and I took him back to Urgent Care, where we had the same nurse- who remembered us. I told Doug I would never take him back to that Urgent Care again- because she would probably turn me in for spousal abuse!)
And the rest, as they say, is history . . .
Happy anniversary! I wish I knew that.
ReplyDelete