A Disagreeing State
Now that Alexa is getting older and turning more into a kid than a baby, I see how she and Andrew interact as siblings and here's what I've noticed: there is NOTHING like a sibling to make a perfectly, calm, peaceful child, turn into a raging psycho in less than 1 second. I don't remember turning my sister into a raging psyscho very often. I did turn my brother into a raging psycho, easily, and joyfully. So, Mom, you'll be happy to hear, karma has come back to me again.
In the past few months, Alexa and Andrew have discovered the joy of . . . aggravating each other, fighting with each other, and playing with each other (it goes in that order too). Sometimes all Alexa has to do, is simply walk into a room and suddenly Andrew is screaming, "ALEXA!!!! GET OUT!!!! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!!!!" However, sometimes all Andrew has to do is walk within a foot of Alexa and she's screaming, "EHH! NO! BACK UP!!"
It's pretty aggravating when you hear the shriek, bellow, or door slam in the house, but it's way worse when you're in the car. I saw an advertisement the other day for a news story about how you shouldn't text while driving because you don't have the right to distract yourself and put others at risk. Everytime I see that clip, I laugh- yes texting is dangerous, but a mother with kids fighting in the back seat is way more distracting than a cell phone. Hands Down. No contest. Sure my eyes are straight ahead- in between the quick glaring eye flashes to the rearview mirror, but my mind is in the backseat, dealing with this loud disagreement.
The sound of a sibling disagreement is what the FBI should put on loudspeakers to get terrorists or cult leaders out of their enclaves. I wouldn't last 2 minutes holed up, if they played that sound to me. The other part of their disagreements that's so hard, is you're caught in the middle of 2 people you love very much, with tender hearts, and strong notions of what's fair, and if you choose a side, or punish one and not the other . . . well, you can just hang it up. I usually try to ignore the fight, except that back fires on me often. Alexa turns to assault quickly. Then I am punishing her for biting, ripping glasses off Andrew's face, pushing, or throwing toys, and I've noticed that Andrew was starting to get off scott free because I was dealing with the assault, but he tends to instigate the whole affair. (I've started punishing them at the same time- in opposite corners. Everyone has to sit in time out. For now. In a week, I'll have to come up with something new, that's punishing to both of them.) It's a no win situation, and sometimes I very much misunderstand what happened.
The other day in the car, we were driving along. All was lovely. Andrew was entertaining Alexa to the point that she had those deep belly laughs, that I LOVE, so I was smiling and chuckling too. Suddenly, she erupts into one those "EHHH" sounds that she yells at Andrew that I swear, could peel paint off a wall, and then Andrew is yelling, "NO m'am! NO!" Since they were playing together so nicely a second ago, I assumed she was being her temperamental self, and so I yelled to the back for Andrew to leave her alone and Alexa to chill out. Except Andrew says, "She just tried to bite me!!" Oh. Well, nevermind, new yelling from me: "Alexa! No! We do NOT bite!!! Andrew, why was your hand near her mouth?" We're all a little more subdued at this point, still driving along. And then Andrew's yelling, "NO!!!!!" And Alexa is SCREAMING!!!! "ANDREW!!!! Leave her alone!!!!" "Mom! She was trying to put the top from her water bottle in her mouth." Oh. Well, nevermind new direction with this conversation as well, "Andrew, thank you for saving her life."
And I won't lie, I am sort of disheartened by this because . . . this is just the beginning there are years and years of instigating, aggravating, assaulting, and screaming ahead of me, but it'll just make me appreciate the times they actually get along- a lot more!
In the past few months, Alexa and Andrew have discovered the joy of . . . aggravating each other, fighting with each other, and playing with each other (it goes in that order too). Sometimes all Alexa has to do, is simply walk into a room and suddenly Andrew is screaming, "ALEXA!!!! GET OUT!!!! YOU'RE RUINING EVERYTHING!!!!" However, sometimes all Andrew has to do is walk within a foot of Alexa and she's screaming, "EHH! NO! BACK UP!!"
It's pretty aggravating when you hear the shriek, bellow, or door slam in the house, but it's way worse when you're in the car. I saw an advertisement the other day for a news story about how you shouldn't text while driving because you don't have the right to distract yourself and put others at risk. Everytime I see that clip, I laugh- yes texting is dangerous, but a mother with kids fighting in the back seat is way more distracting than a cell phone. Hands Down. No contest. Sure my eyes are straight ahead- in between the quick glaring eye flashes to the rearview mirror, but my mind is in the backseat, dealing with this loud disagreement.
The sound of a sibling disagreement is what the FBI should put on loudspeakers to get terrorists or cult leaders out of their enclaves. I wouldn't last 2 minutes holed up, if they played that sound to me. The other part of their disagreements that's so hard, is you're caught in the middle of 2 people you love very much, with tender hearts, and strong notions of what's fair, and if you choose a side, or punish one and not the other . . . well, you can just hang it up. I usually try to ignore the fight, except that back fires on me often. Alexa turns to assault quickly. Then I am punishing her for biting, ripping glasses off Andrew's face, pushing, or throwing toys, and I've noticed that Andrew was starting to get off scott free because I was dealing with the assault, but he tends to instigate the whole affair. (I've started punishing them at the same time- in opposite corners. Everyone has to sit in time out. For now. In a week, I'll have to come up with something new, that's punishing to both of them.) It's a no win situation, and sometimes I very much misunderstand what happened.
The other day in the car, we were driving along. All was lovely. Andrew was entertaining Alexa to the point that she had those deep belly laughs, that I LOVE, so I was smiling and chuckling too. Suddenly, she erupts into one those "EHHH" sounds that she yells at Andrew that I swear, could peel paint off a wall, and then Andrew is yelling, "NO m'am! NO!" Since they were playing together so nicely a second ago, I assumed she was being her temperamental self, and so I yelled to the back for Andrew to leave her alone and Alexa to chill out. Except Andrew says, "She just tried to bite me!!" Oh. Well, nevermind, new yelling from me: "Alexa! No! We do NOT bite!!! Andrew, why was your hand near her mouth?" We're all a little more subdued at this point, still driving along. And then Andrew's yelling, "NO!!!!!" And Alexa is SCREAMING!!!! "ANDREW!!!! Leave her alone!!!!" "Mom! She was trying to put the top from her water bottle in her mouth." Oh. Well, nevermind new direction with this conversation as well, "Andrew, thank you for saving her life."
And I won't lie, I am sort of disheartened by this because . . . this is just the beginning there are years and years of instigating, aggravating, assaulting, and screaming ahead of me, but it'll just make me appreciate the times they actually get along- a lot more!
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