Got My Own Self!

My mother has this doll, from her childhood.  The doll sits in her formal living room, with her antique furniture and collectibles and portraits of family from generations ago.  Ok- I swear my mom is not weird, but this next sentence is going to make her sound a bit weird, but the doll has seasonal clothes and her Christmas dress is . . . monogrammed (although- that was a dress my mom happened upon at Goodwill, and thought it would be funny to put on old Saucy Walker). It never seemed quite so weird, until . . . I wrote it down.

This doll freaks my 29 year old brother out.  We make fun of him.  (not just me- his wife, our mother, our brother in law, our sister . . . all of us).  She's been put in different locations around the house, to surprise my brother, and further freak him.  We've laughed- behind his back- about possible mean jokes to play on him: having her show up at his wedding, leaving her in his house up in New York, after a visit, etc.  We are not a nice family.  Those evil plans never seemed so mean, until I wrote them down.  

My mother recently broke her foot.  I went down to her house yesterday to help her prepare for all of her Christmas guests, as she's a bit decrepit right now.  (See- I'm not completely mean)

While I was vacuuming in the living room, I saw old  Saucy Walker and thought, "Hah.  How funny would it be if I were to leave her in my brother's room, so that when he shows up at 2am tonight, he'll be caught totally off guard by her!!!"  I kept vacuuming and realized, "Hah.  My mother isn't paying any attention to me. She wouldn't notice if I skulked that doll downstairs, so she and my dad (who's a TERRIBLE secret keeper) will be just as surprised by Saucy Walker's presence in his room."  So I did it.  

But I can't keep funny secrets, so I texted Doug (because he wasn't there, and then I could tell someone how hilarious I am!) . . . this series of pictures and captions: 

"When my brother goes to lay his head down . . . she'll be there, watching . . . "

"Waiting . . ."

"Hoping . . . "

"Planning. . . "

Doug sent me back a text that I was mean.  I know, right?!!!!!  I just laughed and laughed.  Then my parents wanted to know why I was laughing my maniacal laughing, and so I told them.  Then they laughed.

Then I decided I should go downstairs and make sure the lights were on, so when my brother and sister in law get there- they won't stumble and trip, in the dark.  But when I got into the room, I started thinking how, "Man, Saucy Walker is pretty freaking creepy.  I sure hope she doesn't go all Chucky on me!!!"  Then I high-tailed my rear end out of there!!!!!!!  I flew up the stairs, because it was creepy and unsettling down there with that wack-a-doodle doll and her big eyes following me.  

And, so I hope my brother knows . . . even though I made him chocolate chip cookies, and I fully understand if I am the target of a Nerf gun on Christmas Day, I karma-ed my ownself.  Don't you hate when that happens?!