What Not to Say

Here is an example of something you should not say to your wife, when you get in bed with her- after returning home from being gone all weekend. 

Damn crabs!!!!! 


Here's the story.  Doug went fishing with his dad this past weekend for a long weekend.  He came home Monday evening around 5:45. When he walks in the door he is walking with a very pronounced limp.  Oh jeez.  (serious eye rolls here)  So I ask him- "What happend?!"   He tells me a tale so . . . un-Doug like, it's a little funny.

Apparently Monday morning as they were getting ready to leave, Doug decided to try and catch some crabs- the kind that live in the water, not the kind you catch from a scantily clad woman that charges for services rendered (hahahaha).  So he's standing on the bank of the lake with his net and . . . somehow falls in.  In all the commotion of unexpectedly getting in the water- he doesn't know how he hurt his knee.  But he apparently strained or sprained his knee- as it is swollen and- while I am not typically a sensitive woman- it does seem really hurt. 

My favorite part of the story is that he had to change into dry pants- on the side of the road.  hahahaha- Doug was standing in the road, without pants on- after catching crabs!!!!!!!  Tell me that's not funny.  That's funny.  I chuckle everytime I think of it.  It's funny literally and funny if you follow the double meaning of crabs.  

So anyway- he gets into bed last night and is struggling to get comfortable and says, "Damn crabs!!!!"  Then we both had a good laugh about how that's not the thing to say to your spouse when you've been gone all weekend. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wedded Bliss . . . Ten Years Later

Image
Yep.  Doug and I have been married TEN years!!!!  Can you believe that?  Well- not quite ten years, yet.  On Thursday- April 7- it'll be TEN years!!!!  And I am pretty sure we still love each other. I know I still love Doug and quite honestly- how could he not love me?  I am never a pill and always a delight.  In honor of our almost anniversary- I am including a copy of the email I sent my mother raving about him, after our first date- with hardly no editing and only a few comments in parenthesis.  Enjoy: Mom!!!! (I loved exclamation points way back then, too)   I went out tonight with a guy from school.  He's a teacher.  (let me clarify that I was also a teacher).   He's not married (thank goodness) and he's SUPER nice.  He's an Agriculture Education teacher- think Future Farmer's of America (uhhh- ok?!!)  But, anyway, he sat with me at the football game the other night, and tonight after cheerleading practice (I was the cheerleading coach my first year te
Read more

A True Artiste

A True Artiste Alexa has been working to improve the artistic presentation of her temper tantrums the last several days.   She must be like her Aunt Kelly and won’t stop working until her art is exactly the way wants it and completely perfect.   And lucky for her, she feels like she has had many opportunities to perfect her craft: the door wouldn’t stay open, I opened the bag, her friend touched her, her teacher had to go to the restroom, etc.   A month ago, she liked to pitch herself backwards when she pitched her fits.   However, she discovered that that method is painful.   So then she altered, and would pitch herself forward, it took her a few tries to figure out, she has to make sure she can’t throw her head forward too, because then she crashes it on the floor and that too, hurts.   Here are some samples of what she’s currently trying out.   (I would turn my speakers down- as you don’t want to hear the accompanying sound effects.) I am thinking of helping her out and utilizing
Read more

Let Me Count the 13 Ways . . .

Today is mine and Doug's 13th anniversary. As we were sitting at dinner I was thinking, "Man is this night a LOT different than this night 13 years ago." Here are 13 ways my life is different than 13 years ago. 1. My muscle tone- particularly around the midsection. 2.  My hair which has more grey, but yet it is still so much better!  ("wisdom" and vanity cause me to spend ridiculous amounts of money on hair products- more than I spend on clothes) 3. I fed a small person ravioli's, while they wiggled and jostled next to me in the booth, and dropped forks with spaghetti sauce on my pants- tonight. 4.  I am relearning elementary school math.  I think I've got the hang of fractions now. 5. I know Disney Channel characters.  I am able to tell what show either of my children is watching- from another room, just by the voices of the characters 6. My friends are now made at my kids extra curricular events, not at work, not at the gym, not doing a hobby.
Read more