Stinky Car

I have stinky car issues.  I always have.  The other day we got in the car and O.M.G!!!!!  I thought something literally crawled up in there and died.  It was awful.  We had to drive with the windows open. Since I am experienced with stinky car issues, I am getting pretty "stinking" smart with how to deal with them.

It all started back in high school.  I am NOT complaining about my high school car because: I had one, I didn't have to pay for it, the gas, or the insurance on it.  So- I am not complaining. However- the year and model of the car, enhance the story.  I had a 1981 Mercury Cougar.  It was 13 years old.  It had a LOT of miles on it.  The ceiling was coming down on me- and was stapled to the roof.  It looked a lot like this, except I think I remember it having 4 doors.

Oh man, the things I did in that car.  If my mother is reading this- she should prepare to be shocked.  There were holes burned into the carpet behind the driver seat where I attempted to smoke a cigarette, and flicked it out the driver side window- where it promptly flew in the open back window.  I had a friend with me. There was a lot of teenage girl squealing while we tried to figure out what to do.  I hid the cigarettes in my glove box- they probably went stale there, as I never developed a love for cigarettes.  I almost rear ended a garbage truck.  Actually, rear end is a very innocuous description of what almost happened.  I had tuned out (I wasn't drunk, under any type of medication, or mind altering drugs.  I just sort of got lost in a daze of teenage thoughts), when my friend nudged me, then harder, and finally I realized, "OH *&%@!!!!"  I slammed on my brakes and we skidded to a stop, ending an inch away from the back of the garbage truck. Another time I rear ended a big old truck, while waiting in the parking lot to leave school.  I skipped school in that car- it broke down, and I had to call my dad.  (Obviously I didn't do hardly anything bad in high school- I was terrible at being bad. I got caught every time).  Another time I was helping some friends of my parents with their business's holiday party.  I had a 25 gallon cooler in my back seat, slam full of shrimp and ice.  I may or may not have been driving faster than I should have and took a corner a little fast, where the cooler unfortunately spilled and all the ice- full of shrimp juice- spewed all over the back of my car.  When I got to the party, I had to leave the ice to deal with later.  Unfortunately, it melted.  My car smelled like shrimp- for MONTHS!!!!!!  When it got warm- my car smelled horrific.  I had to ride with the windows open.  Then I spilled some milk in it- so then it smelled like rotten shrimp and rotten milk.  This is another reason why I am not complaining about that car- clearly I didn't deserve a new car, look at the mishaps I had in the old car????

A few cars- and years later- and I still have stinky car issues.  Last year, we had a cooler full of ice and drinks (thankfully NOT shrimp) and we accidentally left the drain plug open and the ice melted all over the back of my car.  We used the shop vac on it to get most of the standing water up, then we put a dehumidifier in the car, and pointed a fan on the wet area, until it dried.  It worked pretty good.  Except then . . . the next day we were helping my mom out, and picked up like 10 bags of cedar wood chips from Lowes and loaded them into the back of my van.  It had been raining for days and days, so the bags were pretty wet and so were the cedar chips inside.  We didn't realize that they had leaked all over the back of my van until a few days later when my car smelled horrible!!!!!  Not like a cedar closet, more like . . . poop that had been out in the sun and baked in a small space.  Well, I sprayed the heck out of it with Lysol, and then put a box of baking soda in the back.  Oddly- it worked.  The smell went away- thankfully.  

Last week we were at the beach.  Every time we got in the car, there was this odd, musty smell.  I couldn't figure out what it was, but I wondered if it had anything to do with the dog riding with us, or her blankets in the back.  It didn't seem like it, but . . . what else could it be?  I decided that since I was going to rent a carpet cleaner and clean the carpets at home, I would just use the upholstery brush kit to clean my car carpets and maybe that would help.  Unfortunately, the smell just got worse and worse after we got back, until it was terrible 5 days later.  Yesterday, I was cleaning my car out.  It was ridiculous with all the sand, crumbs, and junk in it!  The second row of my van has 2 captains chairs, and in the middle of them is this little storage compartment that they usually put their drinks on it, and if we're eating in the car (which we are a lot) their food sits on it- so it's pretty gross. Thankfully that storage compartment can be completely removed from the car, and get really scrubbed down.  When I go to open it up . . . there's an open can of dog food in it!!!!!!!!!!! WTF??????????  Andrew.  Lord love that child.  He's a ding dong.  When we did the last walk through of the beach house, Doug found the can and Andrew said he'd bring it down to the car. When we got home we couldn't find it and Andrew had no idea what happened to it, so Doug and I figured it must have gotten thrown out- or maybe Andrew didn't actually take it- and the next set of people had a random can of dog food to greet them- and therefore, we forgot all about it.  Well- no wonder the car smelled so bad.  When I showed Andrew the can, I got a completely blank look, a pause, and then a. . . "Oh yeah!  I didn't know what else to do with it.  Whoops."  Yeah, whoops- you almost killed us with the terrible smell- but it's all good now, because I found it and still used the upholstery kit to clean my carpets and now my car smells . . . not at all, until the next mishap.