Letting 'em Learn The Hard Way
I could not have picked a worse time for Andrew to learn a lesson the hard way, since I am on a No Chocolate Challenge and in no way capable of handling this stress without some Dove Dark Chocolates. I have resorted to beer in place of chocolate.
I love Andrew. He's one of the sweetest, most well behaved kids. He's funny, he's smart, he's athletic. He's great at getting Doug's goat. He's a disorganized MESS! Has been forever. I foolishly assumed at the first signs of disorganization, that I was organized and controlling enough to combat his tendency towards disaster. Well, guess what, I was WRONG! Go figure, I am biting my words, when it comes to my children.
Lately I have realize that I do ABSOLUTELY everything for Andrew. Seriously. The kid shows up at the table and a meal or snack magically appears in front of him. His book bag is alway ready, organized, cleaned out and ready for him every morning. His towel, laundry, and room are picked up by me. I have started to become really resentful of this. Especially upon realizing that Alexa is actually more help to me than he is. Most of my interactions are go like this: Andrew you need to . . . , 5 minutes later, I remind him again, 5 minutes later I remind him again, 5 minutes later I remind him again, then I stomp around doing it myself.
Last week I designed a "program" for him to earn the ability to watch tv. It's making me crazy, because I truly want him to be able to watch tv. I do. And because I want him to be able to, I nag him incessantly to do the tasks he's supposed to do in order to earn the opportunity to earn tv. This morning I realized that every single interaction we've had since last night when I picked him up, were me nagging him. Every single one. How totally negative!!!! So I decided that's it. It's time for tough love.
I went to school with him today for "Crafting with Mom" and had an opportunity to talk to his teacher and I warned her: Andrew may be coming to school disheveled in these last 6 weeks. She immediately said, "Say no more. I understand. I have 2 children, I know where you're coming from." I refuse to nag him. I refuse. It's 6:20 and he's not done his homework. I haven't said a doggone word. He has until 7:45 and if it's not done by then, if his bookbag's not packed, and the other chores, then oh well. They don't get done and he goes to school unprepared. The trouble is this: Andrew's the kind of kid that will skate by on this. I am afraid he's going to learn a different lesson than the one I intend. I am afraid he's actually going to learn that he doesn't have to do pack up his stuff the night before, or do his homework, because he can do it in a hurry and get by. I don't want him to learn . . . get by. Isn't that what so many of today's school aged boys are doing and they're not all that successful.
Parenting isn't for the weak that's for sure and it's not for those going without chocolate.
I love Andrew. He's one of the sweetest, most well behaved kids. He's funny, he's smart, he's athletic. He's great at getting Doug's goat. He's a disorganized MESS! Has been forever. I foolishly assumed at the first signs of disorganization, that I was organized and controlling enough to combat his tendency towards disaster. Well, guess what, I was WRONG! Go figure, I am biting my words, when it comes to my children.
Lately I have realize that I do ABSOLUTELY everything for Andrew. Seriously. The kid shows up at the table and a meal or snack magically appears in front of him. His book bag is alway ready, organized, cleaned out and ready for him every morning. His towel, laundry, and room are picked up by me. I have started to become really resentful of this. Especially upon realizing that Alexa is actually more help to me than he is. Most of my interactions are go like this: Andrew you need to . . . , 5 minutes later, I remind him again, 5 minutes later I remind him again, 5 minutes later I remind him again, then I stomp around doing it myself.
Last week I designed a "program" for him to earn the ability to watch tv. It's making me crazy, because I truly want him to be able to watch tv. I do. And because I want him to be able to, I nag him incessantly to do the tasks he's supposed to do in order to earn the opportunity to earn tv. This morning I realized that every single interaction we've had since last night when I picked him up, were me nagging him. Every single one. How totally negative!!!! So I decided that's it. It's time for tough love.
I went to school with him today for "Crafting with Mom" and had an opportunity to talk to his teacher and I warned her: Andrew may be coming to school disheveled in these last 6 weeks. She immediately said, "Say no more. I understand. I have 2 children, I know where you're coming from." I refuse to nag him. I refuse. It's 6:20 and he's not done his homework. I haven't said a doggone word. He has until 7:45 and if it's not done by then, if his bookbag's not packed, and the other chores, then oh well. They don't get done and he goes to school unprepared. The trouble is this: Andrew's the kind of kid that will skate by on this. I am afraid he's going to learn a different lesson than the one I intend. I am afraid he's actually going to learn that he doesn't have to do pack up his stuff the night before, or do his homework, because he can do it in a hurry and get by. I don't want him to learn . . . get by. Isn't that what so many of today's school aged boys are doing and they're not all that successful.
Parenting isn't for the weak that's for sure and it's not for those going without chocolate.
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