Meanest Mother . . . Or Smartest?
I mentioned this on Facebook recently- and I have continued to do it.
Alexa has ALWAYS been the pickiest eater- except when she was 6 month until about 12 months and then she'd eat anything. Then when she was about 18 months old, she went on a food strike that limits her to about 10 different food items and has never really moved past it.
I've never really taken up the fight with her on food. I make a few half hearted attempts every now and then, but honestly, it's not worth the fight. Meals are frequently emotional events for her. Is it the time of day? Is it the shared attention? Is it having to sit and eat food she doesn't like/want/desire/feel in the mood for? I have no idea. Meals usually end with her stomping off, crying, or pouting at the table. Since the behavior is such an issue- food is not worth my fight. For Pete's Sake just feed the girl something she'll eat, so that I don't have to add that to the list of possible reasons for an emotional reaction.
One night, I had reached my limit and when she said she wasn't going to eat what we were, I said, "Fine. Fix your own dinner." Initially she was a bit taken aback, but then she embraced the idea. Maybe it seems mean to make my 4 year old fix her own dinner, but look at it from this point of view: it saves me time, it makes her self sufficient, and it will make her more responsible.
I supervise the preparation, and don't let her eat garbage. So far she either fixes, peanut butter and jelly, or a cheese sandwich. One night, she just ate bread, because when she was getting her cheese, it ripped. She didn't want ripped cheese and she threw it away. I said, "Then you don't get any more cheese. We aren't wasting the food." She also has to have a fruit, and a vegetable- typically applesauce and carrots. Frankly- that's not that bad. It's truly whole wheat bread. It's no sugar added applesauce, and it's carrots. If she gets burned out on it . . . it's her own fault. But sometimes I do make her eat other things, but like I said, she has a pretty limited list of foods that she will eat.
Here's the thing. She's better at fixing her own food then Andrew. One day I didn't have his lunch fixed, so he was going to fix it. He got the bread out- and never closed the bag back. I didn't notice until that night. Grrrrr. Alexa can undo the twist tie, get the bread out, and retie it. I was pretty impressed. She can spread the jelly by herself. She can stamp her bread out into shapes. She's got it going on.
I think I told this story once, but once when Andrew was just moved into his big boy bed, he wouldn't stay in it. So, like the mean mother I am. I reversed the lock on his door, and locked him in until he fell asleep, and then I unlocked the door. Well, the first night he threw one heck of a fit, and fell asleep with his hand under the door, reaching out to me. I called my mother and cried. She told me to stay strong. If I caved . . . I'd never get him to stay. The point of this story is, it hurt my heart. More than I can say. I still feel twinges of guilt and that was 7+ years ago. However, it only took one night for me to teach him to stay in his bed. Shortly after I had Alexa, I thought back to that story of Andrew, and thought of her, and hoped to all that was holy in this world that I would never have to think of a way to teach her to stay in her bed,because she is the most stubborn person I have ever, in my entire life, met. And it would take me MONTHS of locking her in her room. Thankfully, I have never had that issue with her. She goes to bed and stays there- no matter what, unless there is a thunderstorm. Then all bets are off.
I am sure one day I'll appreciate Alexa's stubborn and willful ways. For the most part, they're manageable now, but when she takes something into her head- well, I have to work around her, not against her. Because frankly, she's even more stubborn than I am. And that's saying something.
Alexa has ALWAYS been the pickiest eater- except when she was 6 month until about 12 months and then she'd eat anything. Then when she was about 18 months old, she went on a food strike that limits her to about 10 different food items and has never really moved past it.
I've never really taken up the fight with her on food. I make a few half hearted attempts every now and then, but honestly, it's not worth the fight. Meals are frequently emotional events for her. Is it the time of day? Is it the shared attention? Is it having to sit and eat food she doesn't like/want/desire/feel in the mood for? I have no idea. Meals usually end with her stomping off, crying, or pouting at the table. Since the behavior is such an issue- food is not worth my fight. For Pete's Sake just feed the girl something she'll eat, so that I don't have to add that to the list of possible reasons for an emotional reaction.
One night, I had reached my limit and when she said she wasn't going to eat what we were, I said, "Fine. Fix your own dinner." Initially she was a bit taken aback, but then she embraced the idea. Maybe it seems mean to make my 4 year old fix her own dinner, but look at it from this point of view: it saves me time, it makes her self sufficient, and it will make her more responsible.
I supervise the preparation, and don't let her eat garbage. So far she either fixes, peanut butter and jelly, or a cheese sandwich. One night, she just ate bread, because when she was getting her cheese, it ripped. She didn't want ripped cheese and she threw it away. I said, "Then you don't get any more cheese. We aren't wasting the food." She also has to have a fruit, and a vegetable- typically applesauce and carrots. Frankly- that's not that bad. It's truly whole wheat bread. It's no sugar added applesauce, and it's carrots. If she gets burned out on it . . . it's her own fault. But sometimes I do make her eat other things, but like I said, she has a pretty limited list of foods that she will eat.
Here's the thing. She's better at fixing her own food then Andrew. One day I didn't have his lunch fixed, so he was going to fix it. He got the bread out- and never closed the bag back. I didn't notice until that night. Grrrrr. Alexa can undo the twist tie, get the bread out, and retie it. I was pretty impressed. She can spread the jelly by herself. She can stamp her bread out into shapes. She's got it going on.
I think I told this story once, but once when Andrew was just moved into his big boy bed, he wouldn't stay in it. So, like the mean mother I am. I reversed the lock on his door, and locked him in until he fell asleep, and then I unlocked the door. Well, the first night he threw one heck of a fit, and fell asleep with his hand under the door, reaching out to me. I called my mother and cried. She told me to stay strong. If I caved . . . I'd never get him to stay. The point of this story is, it hurt my heart. More than I can say. I still feel twinges of guilt and that was 7+ years ago. However, it only took one night for me to teach him to stay in his bed. Shortly after I had Alexa, I thought back to that story of Andrew, and thought of her, and hoped to all that was holy in this world that I would never have to think of a way to teach her to stay in her bed,because she is the most stubborn person I have ever, in my entire life, met. And it would take me MONTHS of locking her in her room. Thankfully, I have never had that issue with her. She goes to bed and stays there- no matter what, unless there is a thunderstorm. Then all bets are off.
I am sure one day I'll appreciate Alexa's stubborn and willful ways. For the most part, they're manageable now, but when she takes something into her head- well, I have to work around her, not against her. Because frankly, she's even more stubborn than I am. And that's saying something.
Comments
Post a Comment