Brace Yourself . . .

Brace yourself for the cuteness that is about to follow.  You can't prepare.  Don't bother.

There.  Isn't that like . . . the cutest thing in the whole world?????  I mean- ok, I am partial because she's mine, but I don't just mean it because she's mine.  Pretty much any little girl in a dance recital costume is cute as, I don't even know what.  

I am going to brag on Alexa.  I can, because this is my blog.  Man, has this girl turned it around.  Last summer was awful.  Like, stab my eyeballs out, awful.  I don't know if it's because she was 2, turning 3.  I don't know if it's because I pulled her out of daycare, and she didn't do well being completely out of routine. I don't know.  I do know this, I was a mother on the brink.  I had used up every single special education trick I had in my arsenal.  I was done, dried up, and exhausted. The fits, the power struggles, the emotions. It was too much.  Her return to school, earned us the reputation of "Most Epic Fit EVER!"  A center that has been open for over 20 years, and my kid has the most epic fit ever.  

Now, there are those of you that have known me . . . a long time. You're reading this and perhaps you're chuckling.  Go ahead.  Laugh.  I have more appreciation for my mother than I ever thought possible.  How that woman coped with me- I will never understand.  She was quite a bit younger than me, still newly married, my dad wasn't around and probably not all that great at helping out because he was young too.  She was either too dumb to know I was a nightmare (since she had 2 more children- this is a pretty viable option), she drank a lot, or she was just an amazing woman (although- this one has a lot of merit).  

The point is . . . Alexa is a bazillion, trillion times better.  What flipped her switch from nightmare to delight? I don't know.  I think part of is she went back to school.  She thrives on routine.  I think she matured.  I also think dance helped.  Why did I choose dance for her?  Frankly, I'm not sure.  I wanted her to have something that was all her own. She'd been dragged a million baseball games.  She'd sat through a bazillion hours and innings of boring baseball games.  I think she needed something that was all her own.  I was hoping to work on her separation anxiety from me.  Separating from me was a huge crisis- every time.  I don't know why; she'd been in daycare since she was 10 weeks old.  It took me 3 weeks of preparing her for dance- before she went.  The first day she went for real (and not just to view), she walked right into that dance studio and never looked back.  I was stunned.  Never did I think Alexa would just walk in like that. She's never had a problem separating from me, in any situation, since.  Not once.  Do I love dance?  Not particularly.  It's expensive.  I've spent way more on dance than I have on baseball this year.  I also don't particularly love how . . . excluding it is.  I understand why, I just don't like it.  I send her into a dance studio, the door gets closed, I go sit in my car until it's over, and who knows what the heck she's practicing in there. I won't get to see for weeks at a time.  However, I was raised on soccer and baseball, where I sit on the sidelines during every practice and cheer on the players the whole time (well except for the 95% of the time I am gossiping- but that 5% of the time- I am watching and cheering). So I am used to watching practices and engaging in them.  I am pretty sure the only reason baseball practices aren't closed is because it's difficult to make a field inaccessible.  A dance studio is obviously much smaller and easier to close off.  If I'm being honest, I bet there are many coaches who would LOVE to close a baseball practice to the parents.   The point is, it's about her.  She loves it.  There was not one day where she said, "I don't want to go."  So, I'll ask her again in the fall if she wants to do dance and then . . . to dance I will happily take her.  

If someone had told me at this time last year, I would be watching my darling girl on stage in front of hundreds of people, I would have laughed.  There is no way she would have done that.  But then tonight, she got out there and ate it up.  She LOVED being on stage and dancing.  And for that, I'll support her in dance because, say what you will about it, but it's given her a lot.