Mexicali Blues

Last summer my crew and I were at the beach with some good friends, when the adults all agreed, "You know, this whole vacation would be a lot more fun without kids!"  Then we said, "Hey, it'd be even more fun if we went somewhere super cool!"  So we planned an all inclusive vacation at an adults only resort, with a swim up bar. When I told people Doug and I were going to Mexico they were always surprised.  We don't vacation much and I'm not much for leaving my kids.  Quite frankly, I'm surprised I did this too.

Before we went, I had a million concerns: some sort of national crisis that would shut down airports and I wouldn't be able to get back to my children, I'd get sick (not Bubonic Plague sick, Strep throat sick) and there wouldn't be an on site doctor and I'd have to feel awful the entire time, I'd forget something important, my parents would get sick, my children would get sick, I'd be terribly homesick for them, etc.  Turns out none of those came true.  We had the most fantastic time.

However, now that I'm back home, I'm feeling the blues a bit (and not just because the scale was less than friendly to me).  I'm disappointed how quickly we all got right back into the exact same habits/routines/ruts.  While we were in Mexico I sometimes held Doug's hand, or sat close enough our shoulders touched (this is the stuff right out of a trashy love novel- isn't it?).  I wasn't sitting on the other end of the couch, or in the other room- which is what we're usually doing.  Doug wasn't constantly buried in a screen of some variety, I wasn't exhausted and passing out at 10pm (well I did pass out at 10, but not because Alexa's emotions exhausted me). There wasn't the constant struggle of who's turn it should be to deal with Alexa, walk the dog at 10pm, take out the trash, etc.  Did we talk about feelings? Heck no. That ain't our gig.  (We did talk about how we're going to make a budget and I was going to stop pissing away money at Target- pretty romantic stuff right there.)  It's just that we were together, happy, and not distracted by life.  Then last night it was right back to the same old, same old: Doug on the couch, me in the bedroom.  Far away from each other, with a change in geography and time zones.  Strange how quickly that habit came back.  Could I sit with Doug on the couch?  Sure.  Could I sit next to him?  Absolutely.  It's just, I hate watching tv with him.  We don't like the same shows and he's always turning the channels.  Why can't he watch tv in the bedroom where I am?  He likes the couch and the better tv.  

So this morning, as I sat at the kitchen table and resumed the old, "Alexa please eat ______" fight and Doug did his own thing, and Andrew moped because he was bored, I felt frustrated with the habits we had fallen back into immediately, as though 6 days hadn't just passed.  Even the dog resumed her habits: her favorite spot to lay, going to bed after her 10pm walk, etc.  I guess we are truly creatures of habit.  However, I could start a new habit, that included more laying by a pool and having pretty drinks brought to me.