I'm Not Even Moral Support
At the beginning of the school year, we had an authentic lock-down due to a gun being on campus. It was before the day started, and so kids were milling about all over campus. When the announcement came over the loudspeaker, I dashed in the hall and started directing kids to the nearest room. When it was all said and done and everyone was safe- and no injuries had occurred- my take away from that event was, "I do know how to react in a crisis!!!!" Frankly- I was relieved! Over the years, whenever I had encountered a "crisis" with a critter- my reaction has been to flee. And not like- gather up my infant baby girl, or special needs students and make a mad dash for it- nope, I don't do that. When a critter is involved, I'll probably push you in front of me as I am following the "SAVE YOURSELF" mantra.
To say I am not good in a crisis that involves a critter is an understatement.
A perfect example of this is when Alexa was approximately 6 weeks old. I was home on maternity leave. Doug and Andrew were at school. Alexa was down for a nap in her crib. I was doing some task that required me to run in and out of the garage, so I left the door to the house open. A bird flew in the house. I stood in the yard and called Doug and said, "YOU HAVE TO COME HOME RIGHT NOW!!!!" That was my first reaction: to hide in the yard, and call Doug- to get someone to cover his class, drive 6 miles home, and come save me. Needless to say- he did not do that. He told me to figure it out myself. (that moment will be forever tallied on the list of "Times Doug Neglected Me in My Dire Need" That list is tallied next to the other list called "Dumb Things Doug Has Said That I Like to Lord Over His Head For His Entire Life.") There I was in the yard, a bird in the house, and oh yeah . . . Alexa- my 6 week old infant in there with the scary bird too. So- I did figure it out myself. I somehow obtained a sheet, threw it over my head, grabbed my sleeping baby, and put her in the car seat and we went to Taco Bell. That was trauma that required a treat. I left the bird for Doug to deal with when he got home.
Doug woke me up at 5am this morning because he was telling the dogs to hush. Our older dog sleeps on the floor on my side of the bed. The puppy sleeps in her kennel near our bedroom door. Both dogs are in our room. Once I awoke, I heard a . . . scratching sound. The puppy has never chewed up her blanket in her kennel before, but at least she was entertaining herself and not making one of us get up and take her out at 5am- which is a pretty typical time. After about 20 minutes, Doug gets up and takes her out. I fall back to sleep quickly, except . . . the scratching just happened. What the what?! I am fully awake and in a panic. What am I going to do?! The critter sounds kind of big for that kind of scratching. I only have a thin blanket over me. That's not a lot of protection. I canNOT get out of this bed- as it's going to jump out and GET ME. I lay there waiting for Doug. After 2 hours (Ok- 8 minutes or so) he and the dogs come back in. Our older dog has no interest in this noise- she wants to know where her breakfast is. I sit up and tell Doug- "Do you want the good news or the bad news?!!!!! It's not the dog." He throws the puppy on the bed with me- who is overjoyed at this development. The older dog is pacing looking for breakfast, the puppy is licking me all over- and then there's the scratching sound. Doug is walking around the general area of the sound- our bathroom listening, looking . . . investigating. I'm hiding behind our 20 pound puppy- who is OBLIVIOUS that we have any concerns about anything. Our older dog is more worried about her breakfast situation.
Doug ultimately decided the critter is under the house and when he stomped on the floor- the critter went away. But did it????????? At this point we don't know- and Doug has left to take Andrew to his baseball game- and I think we all know I ain't dealing with this. I'm tempted to close the door to our bedroom, shove a towel under the door and hope that holds things at bay until Doug comes home later this afternoon. Cause it'll all still be waiting for him. :-)
To say I am not good in a crisis that involves a critter is an understatement.
A perfect example of this is when Alexa was approximately 6 weeks old. I was home on maternity leave. Doug and Andrew were at school. Alexa was down for a nap in her crib. I was doing some task that required me to run in and out of the garage, so I left the door to the house open. A bird flew in the house. I stood in the yard and called Doug and said, "YOU HAVE TO COME HOME RIGHT NOW!!!!" That was my first reaction: to hide in the yard, and call Doug- to get someone to cover his class, drive 6 miles home, and come save me. Needless to say- he did not do that. He told me to figure it out myself. (that moment will be forever tallied on the list of "Times Doug Neglected Me in My Dire Need" That list is tallied next to the other list called "Dumb Things Doug Has Said That I Like to Lord Over His Head For His Entire Life.") There I was in the yard, a bird in the house, and oh yeah . . . Alexa- my 6 week old infant in there with the scary bird too. So- I did figure it out myself. I somehow obtained a sheet, threw it over my head, grabbed my sleeping baby, and put her in the car seat and we went to Taco Bell. That was trauma that required a treat. I left the bird for Doug to deal with when he got home.
Doug woke me up at 5am this morning because he was telling the dogs to hush. Our older dog sleeps on the floor on my side of the bed. The puppy sleeps in her kennel near our bedroom door. Both dogs are in our room. Once I awoke, I heard a . . . scratching sound. The puppy has never chewed up her blanket in her kennel before, but at least she was entertaining herself and not making one of us get up and take her out at 5am- which is a pretty typical time. After about 20 minutes, Doug gets up and takes her out. I fall back to sleep quickly, except . . . the scratching just happened. What the what?! I am fully awake and in a panic. What am I going to do?! The critter sounds kind of big for that kind of scratching. I only have a thin blanket over me. That's not a lot of protection. I canNOT get out of this bed- as it's going to jump out and GET ME. I lay there waiting for Doug. After 2 hours (Ok- 8 minutes or so) he and the dogs come back in. Our older dog has no interest in this noise- she wants to know where her breakfast is. I sit up and tell Doug- "Do you want the good news or the bad news?!!!!! It's not the dog." He throws the puppy on the bed with me- who is overjoyed at this development. The older dog is pacing looking for breakfast, the puppy is licking me all over- and then there's the scratching sound. Doug is walking around the general area of the sound- our bathroom listening, looking . . . investigating. I'm hiding behind our 20 pound puppy- who is OBLIVIOUS that we have any concerns about anything. Our older dog is more worried about her breakfast situation.
Doug ultimately decided the critter is under the house and when he stomped on the floor- the critter went away. But did it????????? At this point we don't know- and Doug has left to take Andrew to his baseball game- and I think we all know I ain't dealing with this. I'm tempted to close the door to our bedroom, shove a towel under the door and hope that holds things at bay until Doug comes home later this afternoon. Cause it'll all still be waiting for him. :-)
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