The Yelling Neighbors

I flew in the door about 20 minutes before Doug and Andrew had to leave to go to baseball practice. Doug was heating up leftovers and fussing at Andrew because he was sitting on the couch, still dressed in school clothes and playing MineCraft (he didn't know he had to go- he claims).  He gets dressed, while Doug and I are griping about the day (it's the end of the school year . . . there's a lot of griping and eating chocolate and drinking Diet Coke, even though I almost completely kicked the habit).  As we sit down to eat, Andrew dashes out the door and leaves the door to the garage open. He apparently felt that he had to get his bat bag out of my car, right that minute (although- frankly, it was probably a good idea; he would forget his head if weren't attached).  Next thing, he's standing at Doug's truck bellowing to us, in the house.  We can't hear him so we're hollering back,
"WHAT????  WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!!!"
A= "DAD! OPEN YOUR TRUCK!!!!"
Us- "WHY??????  DAD DOESN'T HAVE HIS KEYS!"
A= "I HAVE TO PUT MY BAG IN THE CAR!"
Doug= "JUST PUT IT IN THE BACK!!!!"
A= "I CAN'T!!!!"
Me= "WHY NOT?!"
A= "I JUST CAN'T!"
Me= "ANDREW!!!!!!!!!!!!! PUT YOUR DUMB BAG IN THE GARAGE, COME IN THE HOUSE AND EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Why did we not just stand up, walk to the door, or go outside to have this conversation?  Why were we screaming it across the driveway, through the garage, and out the door?

This isn't the worst offense of screaming in our yard.  The neighbors saw plenty of Alexa's fits.  They may have seen Doug chuck a tape measure.  The worst one was about 1- 3 months after we moved into our house.  Doug had decided to cut down a dead pine tree.

What do you know about pine trees?  Nothing?  Oh- well let me tell you about them.  They're weak. That's why they're always the first ones to break in an ice storm.  Our yard used to have lots of pine trees.  It was a mission to rid our yard of them.  All they're good for is cheap furniture, paper, making oxygen, and falling on houses, cars, and power lines.

So anyway, Doug is a sprite 27 year old, and he is going to climb that tree with his deer stand, so he can tie a rope off near the top of the tree, and then while he's operating the chainsaw, I'm supposed to pull the rope- to make sure the tree doesn't fall on our house.  He got about 15 feet up and the tree was swaying wildly from side to side.  I'm standing out there in the yard, freaking out.  But I don't freak out like a girl.  I'm not standing out there screaming or crying, or running in circles.  I'm still holding the rope- standing a good 20 feet away and yelling terrible curse words at him.  "WHAT THE &^$* YOU DOING????  YOU NEED TO GET OUT OF THAT *^#%ING TREE!"  Doug's up there in that swaying tree, smiling at me (because he thought my reaction was funny) and telling me to quit screaming obscenities at him.  So I say, "GET YOUR A$$ OUT OF THAT TREE, BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T MADE ME A BENEFICIARY OF ALL OF YOUR MONEY YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I have no idea if he got the rope tied off in the tree, or if we even cut that tree down.  I don't remember. I just remember me screaming at him.  He still makes fun of me being more concerned about getting all his money, then his well being.  For the record, THAT WASN'T TRUE!!!!