Auditory Working Visual- It Doesn't Work
When Doug and I first got married, we did a TON of projects together. Landscaping, painting, kitchens, flooring, etc. The worst project was by far the tile project. We are typically not one for screaming fights. . . however, tile unfortunately, brought the psychos out of us. When we finished that dreaded job, we figured out the problem: Doug is always the foreman, and I am the go-fer (you know, go- for this tool, go- for that board, etc)- except for tile. It was a confusing moment. Doug didn't have the patience to be the foreman, and weirdly . . . I did. So while we struggled through a role reversal, we fought.
Since we've had kids, we haven't done projects like we used to. Obviously we have less time, plus the house was kind of how we wanted it, although we are in discussions for some more projects coming up- (none will be tile, and if they were I'd pay somebody to do it and it would be worth every stupid penny).
We're talking about doing something today with a gigantic net. We're setting up a practice hitting station in the backyard and we want to put a net up to stop the ball from going all over the yard. We have the net, poles, and boards. What we don't have is . . . a clear vision.
The trouble is this: Doug is auditory. He has explained this idea to me about 3 times. I am visual. When we've done projects in the past- about 3/4 of the way through a job I "see" his vision. It's always been this way. He'll tell me about the project and what he wants to do- several times. I'll nod. Offer positive remarks: "Sounds good." "I like it!" I have NO idea what he's talking about. I can't imagine the final product in my head for anything. I need a picture. Not a drawing with lines, an actual photograph. It doesn't matter to me that I have no idea what his idea is- I trust him. It'll turn out fine.
So here's how the Baseball Stop conversation has gone. This is what I have heard Doug say, "I am going to fold the net." (I interrupt, "Why?") He's already exasperated with me, "Because it'll protect the net against wear and tear better!" ("Oh, good idea.") "When I fold it, it's gonna be 27ft by 98 ft (or maybe he said 4 ft by 2 ft, or maybe it was 14ft by 12 ft- it was numbers, I don't really listen to those- because I can't imagine how long/tall/wide/big they'll actually look in life. In my head 97ft lays out about the same as 14), (So I said, "Oh- I like that idea). Doug's looking far off, planning this out in his head, "I'll have to wrap it around a pole, and then fold it and then I'm going to set the elephants free in the backyard, to play with the alligators, and I need to go get hay, to feed the parakeets, when the aliens land. . . " (Oh, I like those ideas! That'll totally work." Clearly I have NO idea what he's talking about. He tried to explain it to me 3 times. He tried to draw a picture. I didn't get it. He told me I was a doofus and walked away.)
I don't know what we're doing, when we walk out that door, but it doesn't matter. I trust him and despite that fact that it'll take forever- it'll be fine when it's done. It always is.
Since we've had kids, we haven't done projects like we used to. Obviously we have less time, plus the house was kind of how we wanted it, although we are in discussions for some more projects coming up- (none will be tile, and if they were I'd pay somebody to do it and it would be worth every stupid penny).
We're talking about doing something today with a gigantic net. We're setting up a practice hitting station in the backyard and we want to put a net up to stop the ball from going all over the yard. We have the net, poles, and boards. What we don't have is . . . a clear vision.
The trouble is this: Doug is auditory. He has explained this idea to me about 3 times. I am visual. When we've done projects in the past- about 3/4 of the way through a job I "see" his vision. It's always been this way. He'll tell me about the project and what he wants to do- several times. I'll nod. Offer positive remarks: "Sounds good." "I like it!" I have NO idea what he's talking about. I can't imagine the final product in my head for anything. I need a picture. Not a drawing with lines, an actual photograph. It doesn't matter to me that I have no idea what his idea is- I trust him. It'll turn out fine.
So here's how the Baseball Stop conversation has gone. This is what I have heard Doug say, "I am going to fold the net." (I interrupt, "Why?") He's already exasperated with me, "Because it'll protect the net against wear and tear better!" ("Oh, good idea.") "When I fold it, it's gonna be 27ft by 98 ft (or maybe he said 4 ft by 2 ft, or maybe it was 14ft by 12 ft- it was numbers, I don't really listen to those- because I can't imagine how long/tall/wide/big they'll actually look in life. In my head 97ft lays out about the same as 14), (So I said, "Oh- I like that idea). Doug's looking far off, planning this out in his head, "I'll have to wrap it around a pole, and then fold it and then I'm going to set the elephants free in the backyard, to play with the alligators, and I need to go get hay, to feed the parakeets, when the aliens land. . . " (Oh, I like those ideas! That'll totally work." Clearly I have NO idea what he's talking about. He tried to explain it to me 3 times. He tried to draw a picture. I didn't get it. He told me I was a doofus and walked away.)
I don't know what we're doing, when we walk out that door, but it doesn't matter. I trust him and despite that fact that it'll take forever- it'll be fine when it's done. It always is.
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