Top Notch Parenting

Today's posts are really going to illustrate what a top notch parent I am.  Not that my other posts don't do that already, but these will really lock your opinion of me in place. 

Andrew approaches me a bit ago with a small cut on his finger.  While he tends towards the dramatic, this particular time he wasn't.  Since he wasn't being dramatic- I thought I'd be a more sensitive parent (see- already demonstrating my Top Notch Skills) and offer him a bandaid. 

Here's the rest of the situation:
Scene: Andrew standing at bathroom counter with injured finger sticking out (which just so happens to be his middle finger), I am gathering up the bandaid and ointment. 

Me: Hey- are you sticking up your bad finger at me?
Andrew: (looking confused) What?
Me: (internal eye roll at my stupidity.  I promise you I honestly thought to myself, "Way to go, Kate.  We all know what happens when you assume!" Like- when you assume your kid knows about the middle finger)  Oh ahhhh . . .
Andrew: That's my middle finger?!
Me: (really no where to go but onward) yep.
Andrew: I thought it was this finger (he shows me his ring finger)
Me: Nope, it's the other one
Andrew: (now has the actual middle finger up- and bandaged) huh, that makes sense because there's two fingers on either side of it. 
Me: Well, that's your lesson for the day.  That's the kind of Top Notch Parent I am, Andrew.  I teach you about the Middle Finger.
Andrew: (just sort of looked at me.  I think he was debating on whether I was using sarcasm or not.)

Who needs friends and naughty big kids, when he has me?!  I think I'll teach him about Five Finger Discounts next. 

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