Top Notch Parenting

Today's posts are really going to illustrate what a top notch parent I am.  Not that my other posts don't do that already, but these will really lock your opinion of me in place. 

Andrew approaches me a bit ago with a small cut on his finger.  While he tends towards the dramatic, this particular time he wasn't.  Since he wasn't being dramatic- I thought I'd be a more sensitive parent (see- already demonstrating my Top Notch Skills) and offer him a bandaid. 

Here's the rest of the situation:
Scene: Andrew standing at bathroom counter with injured finger sticking out (which just so happens to be his middle finger), I am gathering up the bandaid and ointment. 

Me: Hey- are you sticking up your bad finger at me?
Andrew: (looking confused) What?
Me: (internal eye roll at my stupidity.  I promise you I honestly thought to myself, "Way to go, Kate.  We all know what happens when you assume!" Like- when you assume your kid knows about the middle finger)  Oh ahhhh . . .
Andrew: That's my middle finger?!
Me: (really no where to go but onward) yep.
Andrew: I thought it was this finger (he shows me his ring finger)
Me: Nope, it's the other one
Andrew: (now has the actual middle finger up- and bandaged) huh, that makes sense because there's two fingers on either side of it. 
Me: Well, that's your lesson for the day.  That's the kind of Top Notch Parent I am, Andrew.  I teach you about the Middle Finger.
Andrew: (just sort of looked at me.  I think he was debating on whether I was using sarcasm or not.)

Who needs friends and naughty big kids, when he has me?!  I think I'll teach him about Five Finger Discounts next. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Wedded Bliss . . . Ten Years Later

Image
Yep.  Doug and I have been married TEN years!!!!  Can you believe that?  Well- not quite ten years, yet.  On Thursday- April 7- it'll be TEN years!!!!  And I am pretty sure we still love each other. I know I still love Doug and quite honestly- how could he not love me?  I am never a pill and always a delight.  In honor of our almost anniversary- I am including a copy of the email I sent my mother raving about him, after our first date- with hardly no editing and only a few comments in parenthesis.  Enjoy: Mom!!!! (I loved exclamation points way back then, too)   I went out tonight with a guy from school.  He's a teacher.  (let me clarify that I was also a teacher).   He's not married (thank goodness) and he's SUPER nice.  He's an Agriculture Education teacher- think Future Farmer's of America (uhhh- ok?!!)  But, anyway, he sat with me at the football game the other night, and tonight after cheerleading practice (I was the cheerleading coach my first year te
Read more

A True Artiste

A True Artiste Alexa has been working to improve the artistic presentation of her temper tantrums the last several days.   She must be like her Aunt Kelly and won’t stop working until her art is exactly the way wants it and completely perfect.   And lucky for her, she feels like she has had many opportunities to perfect her craft: the door wouldn’t stay open, I opened the bag, her friend touched her, her teacher had to go to the restroom, etc.   A month ago, she liked to pitch herself backwards when she pitched her fits.   However, she discovered that that method is painful.   So then she altered, and would pitch herself forward, it took her a few tries to figure out, she has to make sure she can’t throw her head forward too, because then she crashes it on the floor and that too, hurts.   Here are some samples of what she’s currently trying out.   (I would turn my speakers down- as you don’t want to hear the accompanying sound effects.) I am thinking of helping her out and utilizing
Read more

Let Me Count the 13 Ways . . .

Today is mine and Doug's 13th anniversary. As we were sitting at dinner I was thinking, "Man is this night a LOT different than this night 13 years ago." Here are 13 ways my life is different than 13 years ago. 1. My muscle tone- particularly around the midsection. 2.  My hair which has more grey, but yet it is still so much better!  ("wisdom" and vanity cause me to spend ridiculous amounts of money on hair products- more than I spend on clothes) 3. I fed a small person ravioli's, while they wiggled and jostled next to me in the booth, and dropped forks with spaghetti sauce on my pants- tonight. 4.  I am relearning elementary school math.  I think I've got the hang of fractions now. 5. I know Disney Channel characters.  I am able to tell what show either of my children is watching- from another room, just by the voices of the characters 6. My friends are now made at my kids extra curricular events, not at work, not at the gym, not doing a hobby.
Read more