Homework Help
Well if you've been out of kindergarten for a few years, then you should know, they have homework. Yes! Not only do 5 year olds work in school all day learning to read, write, do math, and act socially appropriate- but they must have homework, as well..
So his teacher gave us this black and white marbled journal and every week she gives the students a new set of words. It started as just studying beginning sounds, but has now advanced to ending sounds. Mondays we have to sort the words with the corresponding clip art, Tuesdays we can either draw the pictures or cut them out of magazines, Wednesdays is a blind sort (which is pretty much the same thing as Monday) and Thursday is speed sort.
Well- about a month or so ago my angelic, sweet son totally conned me into doing his homework! I didn't realize I had been conned until 2 weeks later. (should I admit a 5 year old conned me? Well I am, to prove how smart Andrew is- not how dumb I was. That's my story and I am sticking to it.) Here's how it all happened. So one Tuesday he announces he doesn't want to draw pictures of the words anymore. He wants to cut them out of magazines. I agree, mostly because I am so OCD that the thought of carefully cut out magazine pictures that were neatly glued to the pages of his journal appealed to me. So I give him a few magazines and can immediately see that he can't search through the magazines to find the pictures on his own. He's only 5 and incapable of blocking out the distractions of the pretty, glossy pages, to find what he's looking for. So I sit down to help him. I find the pictures, he cuts them out, and glues them (that way it doesn't look like his mother did the homework). Well the next week rolls around and, yep you guessed it- he wants to cut the magazine pictures out again. This week is a little trickier because Doug was not home to help with Alexa and Alexa will pounce on paper faster than I will pounce on chocolate. And that child will find paper where there isn't any (I hope she's like that with money- but shares it with her parents and doesn't eat it!). So there we were- sitting on the living room floor, anxiously flipping through magazines trying desperately to find the pictures. Wait . . . no WE were not flipping through magazines- I was, Andrew was flitting around the living room, and Alexa was supposed to be playing with her toys but kept finding scraps of magazines to put in her mouth. I was getting more and more annoyed- not with my innocent son or my goat like daughter, but with that teacher! How dare she expect these children to do such an outrageous assignment, clearly out of their capabilities! I mean honestly- what is it with these teachers today!!! Hold up- I am a teacher. Wait a minute. Andrew's teacher has been teaching for YEARS, she knows what children are capable of doing and after all- doesn't he have the option of drawing them- which he had been doing all by himself for months now? OH!!! My darling, beautiful child manipulated me into doing his homework! Well, that just will NOT do! So, I set him straight and told him he could draw the last picture! How's that for tough? I certainly showed him.
Wouldn't it be great if this was the end of the story? Seriously- how long can a story about kindergarten homework be? Well- I am long winded so I can make it last a long time. A few weeks ago, I got all overacheiving and said, "Andrew! You know what we should do instead of drawing pictures?! You should act out the words and then I'll take a picture of them!" (Man I will not lie to you- I was so stinking impressed with my over achiever idea. Took me until I was 34, but now I care about doing homework- of course, it's not mine, but that doesn't matter). So sure enough Andrew acted them- or found them- and I took the pictures, and formatted them and printed them out. Ok, the nerdy teacher part of me was excited because he was getting more out of the assignment by having to act the words out. And the parent part of me was excited to see what the teacher had to say about this genius plan!
So his teacher gave us this black and white marbled journal and every week she gives the students a new set of words. It started as just studying beginning sounds, but has now advanced to ending sounds. Mondays we have to sort the words with the corresponding clip art, Tuesdays we can either draw the pictures or cut them out of magazines, Wednesdays is a blind sort (which is pretty much the same thing as Monday) and Thursday is speed sort.
Well- about a month or so ago my angelic, sweet son totally conned me into doing his homework! I didn't realize I had been conned until 2 weeks later. (should I admit a 5 year old conned me? Well I am, to prove how smart Andrew is- not how dumb I was. That's my story and I am sticking to it.) Here's how it all happened. So one Tuesday he announces he doesn't want to draw pictures of the words anymore. He wants to cut them out of magazines. I agree, mostly because I am so OCD that the thought of carefully cut out magazine pictures that were neatly glued to the pages of his journal appealed to me. So I give him a few magazines and can immediately see that he can't search through the magazines to find the pictures on his own. He's only 5 and incapable of blocking out the distractions of the pretty, glossy pages, to find what he's looking for. So I sit down to help him. I find the pictures, he cuts them out, and glues them (that way it doesn't look like his mother did the homework). Well the next week rolls around and, yep you guessed it- he wants to cut the magazine pictures out again. This week is a little trickier because Doug was not home to help with Alexa and Alexa will pounce on paper faster than I will pounce on chocolate. And that child will find paper where there isn't any (I hope she's like that with money- but shares it with her parents and doesn't eat it!). So there we were- sitting on the living room floor, anxiously flipping through magazines trying desperately to find the pictures. Wait . . . no WE were not flipping through magazines- I was, Andrew was flitting around the living room, and Alexa was supposed to be playing with her toys but kept finding scraps of magazines to put in her mouth. I was getting more and more annoyed- not with my innocent son or my goat like daughter, but with that teacher! How dare she expect these children to do such an outrageous assignment, clearly out of their capabilities! I mean honestly- what is it with these teachers today!!! Hold up- I am a teacher. Wait a minute. Andrew's teacher has been teaching for YEARS, she knows what children are capable of doing and after all- doesn't he have the option of drawing them- which he had been doing all by himself for months now? OH!!! My darling, beautiful child manipulated me into doing his homework! Well, that just will NOT do! So, I set him straight and told him he could draw the last picture! How's that for tough? I certainly showed him.
Wouldn't it be great if this was the end of the story? Seriously- how long can a story about kindergarten homework be? Well- I am long winded so I can make it last a long time. A few weeks ago, I got all overacheiving and said, "Andrew! You know what we should do instead of drawing pictures?! You should act out the words and then I'll take a picture of them!" (Man I will not lie to you- I was so stinking impressed with my over achiever idea. Took me until I was 34, but now I care about doing homework- of course, it's not mine, but that doesn't matter). So sure enough Andrew acted them- or found them- and I took the pictures, and formatted them and printed them out. Ok, the nerdy teacher part of me was excited because he was getting more out of the assignment by having to act the words out. And the parent part of me was excited to see what the teacher had to say about this genius plan!
In case you were wondering, the teacher was impressed and I, ooops- I mean Andrew- got an excellent on that nights homework assignment.
OK - I am not getting this sign-in thing but I am enjoying your blog. I think you should totally forget doing any school work today and just keep writing for my entertainment. And, by the way, Andrew is a genius! . . . and as for Alexa? I used to eat napkins and look how great I turned out! ha
ReplyDeleteAndrew is a sneaky mcsneakerson!!!! Love him! (and goat like Alexa of course)
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