Just Do It My Way. Because it's the Right Way.

It's finally fall here in good ol' North Carolina.  I mean- it's only mid October and we've gotten to the 70's.  Since the nights are cool and the days are not, I figured I should get my kids some weather appropriate clothes.  But then I remembered . . . oh yeah.  Shopping with my kids is straight up torture!  TORTURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I took them to Old Navy.  So you know . . . a reasonable store.  Within my budget.  Andrew was a total pill.  Like- I think I'm going to grab a stool, stand on it, and punch you in the face- pill.  (All of you with littles- you'll get to a point where your sons are no longer precious, sweet angels.  They are big, hairy, and super irritating. You know that irrational irritation you feel with your husbands? You'll feel with your sons, because they're no longer sweet babies.  They're old enough to know how hang up their STUPID towels, or bring their glasses from their bedrooms, or put food back in the fridge.)

Before we went, we had discussed what Andrew would tolerate me buying: long sleeve t-shirts.  Basically he wants Hanes long sleeve t-shirts.  I, frankly, feel that they are a little too casual for every single event in our lives. Sometimes he needs to wear . . . a "dressier" cotton, crew necked, long sleeve tshirt.  Yes- there is such a thing.  It's like like I tried to talk him into a shirt with buttons (WHAT?! BUTTONS?!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  I didn't try to talk him into, (GASP . . . I can't even say it . . . ) stripes (NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO).  It was a super soft, long sleeve, solid colored t-shirt.  No graphic.  No buttons, stripes, graphics, symbols, extra colors, bright colors- nothing.  Boring navy blue.  "It wasn't quite right." Then he did this thing with his body language like I was ridiculous even suggesting  the things I was suggesting, and then I suddenly became enraged with him.  And said, "Fine.  You're welcome to be cold and look like a child wearing too small clothes.  You do you.  But from now on . . . you can shop with Dad!" 

Hah!  Andrew hates shopping.  (Clearly- he was just a total pill)  Doug loves shopping.  And before he takes Andrew, I will tell Doug to drag it out- and make it so that Andrew has to endure shopping forever.  He should have done it my way.  He could have been done in 5 minutes, but noooooo, he wanted to be a pill. I drove about 10 miles to Old Navy- for this explicit purpose.  You wanna be a pill?  Cool- be a pill.  I am older and smarter and I will get my revenge.  And my revenge will make you SUFFER!!!!  So- Andrew- enjoy that long drawn out shopping trip with Dad.  Oh- I'll keep your phone while you suffer- just to make it worse.  What's the lesson?  Do it my way. 

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