What's the Goal?

The closer I get to 50 (in 3 months)- the more I am thinking about the habits I have and if I do them because I actually like them or if I do them because I am supposed to do them.   

I went swimming yesterday morning.  Somedays when I start swimming, I feel this sense of urgency to swim as fast as I can. I have this compulsion to swim fast because that's what I am supposed to do, right?  I will burn calories and hit my target heart range, and then so I can hurry up and get home.  Today I decided, "Why rush?  To go home and vacuum?  I might as well take my time."  

While I swam, I thought about why I don't slow down and take my time more often.  Today's swim was lovely.  My swim boyfriend one time said, "It perfectly acceptable to have a slow pace, and swim for a longer period of time. You'll still burn calories." Except, aren't I supposed to be aiming for peak heart rate?  I mean . . .  that's what they say.  The experts, the social media influencers- the people who sound like they "know."  They tell us we want to hit that optimal heart rate!!!!  That's when all the good things happen to your metabolism, your body will magically transition from a boring mom bod into a premium athlete bod!!!

I have been struggling with my goal of swimming.  I can't figure out what I am working towards.  When I was in my 30's and started running- I was working towards running and completing 5k's, 10k's, and the 1/2 marathon.  When I was going to Burn Bootcamp- I was working to constantly increase the weight amounts that I was able to lift/carry/squat.   But lately the mentality of add, increase, do more . . .  is just not the vibe I'm into. That mentality is exhausting.  Couldn't it just be enough for me to swim 1200- 1800 yards 3 days a week?  Do I have to be pressuring myself to work towards swimming a mile+ at a faster and faster pace?  

I recently saw a post on Instagram about healthy things we should be doing like drinking water, eating fruits and veggies, and consistently moving your body.  The post didn't say "Hit your optimal heart rate for 45 minutes 6 days a week!!!!"  It said, "Move your body consistently."  

Way back in the spring of 2020- I was spending a fair amount of time doom scrolling and my algorithm led me to skin care.  I started a routine- and haven't changed anything since then.  I've been doing the same routine exactly for almost 6 years.  I think about this habit a lot.  It's not complicated.  It's not expensive.  It's not time consuming.  If this uncomplicated, consistent skin care routine is effective- then what other consistent routines would also be effective?  

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